Skip post-work beers and pay attention to wife

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This article was published 08/09/2017 (3186 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I get really tired from my work as a contractor and come home beat. My wife doesn’t work hard in her job as a secretary for a rich guy who’s away half the time. She always has plans to do this and that after work. I would like to be a good husband and go with her because she always invites me, but she always has to go with a girlfriend or go by herself because I need to have a few beers and rest. I usually fall asleep because I put my head down and I’m out like a light at 7 p.m. Usually, I eat the dinner she’s left for me in the oven and that’s it. I bring home a decent buck and she makes the same money. It seems unfair and I resent it. It bugs me when she gets on me, complaining that I am being a boring husband. I’m trying to make my half by working 12 hours days.

On the weekends, I’m good to go on Saturday and Sunday for going out, and for sex after, but oh no, that’s not good enough for her. She says we have a two-day-a-week marriage. I love her but I’m frustrated. — Snoring Husband, West Kildonan

Dear Snoring Husband: You don’t need to be completely missing five days a week. She feels you’re taking her for granted and she’s lonely for you. Couldn’t you forgo the nightly beers for a strong coffee mid-week, and at least talk with her or go out for a walk and hold hands? Beers make a tired guy relax and go to sleep. Could you, at the very least, have a shower and eat dinner, hold her on the sofa and chat with her when you get home? Think about this for a minute: when you started dating her, did you find time for her in the middle of the week? Half of all marriages don’t last these days. Can you really afford to lose her?

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m supposed to be on the wagon, but my girlfriend caught me back in my old haunt: a scuzzy bar. It was near midnight and I had a snootful of booze, was high as well and talking to this hooker. My girlfriend came over to me, gave me the finger and left.

She must have packed her stuff all night. When I got home to my apartment just as the sun was coming up, she was gone. All she left me was a box of Kleenex and a note scribbled on the top in marker pen that said: “Cry your heart out.” I got on my motorcycle and drove to her parents’ house and crammed the Kleenex box in the mailbox. I’d crossed her words out and put my note: “We’re done.”

Now she phones every day and I don’t pick up. She does drive-bys, too. Last night, my bike was parked outside at 3 a.m. and I had a girl inside with me, and she came banging on the door and (basement) windows.

I can’t call the cops because I don’t want to see their faces again. What should I do? We are really finished this time, although we have broken up twice before and gotten back together. — Totally Sick of Her, West End

Dear Totally Sick of Her: You don’t need the face-to-face confrontation she’s bucking for. You also know ignoring her isn’t working. That means you need to send a note to her parents to let them know you are truly finished with their daughter, and will not be seeing her again for any reason. Tell them she has been harassing you — describe how — and that the next time it will require you or your landlord to call the police and have her charged.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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