Girlfriend’s parents not classy enough for snob

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 15/09/2017 (3298 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met my girlfriend’s parents and they have no class. My girlfriend went to private school and it cost her folks a lot of money, which they scraped up by working two jobs each, so now my lady has great manners, education and experience in the working world. She’s a real winner.

She was worried about taking me to her parents’ house to meet them and now I know why. I appreciate that they wanted to give their daughter everything, but they are old-world people who live in an old-world style. They use broken English, wear unappealing clothes, pile food on the table and sit there and watch you, urging you to “Eat! Eat!”

My girlfriend is not the least embarrassed of them. Maybe I’m a snob. I thought the house was dark and smelled funny. too, I really love my girlfriend, but now I feel kind of weird about it. If we got serious these would be my in-laws. How should I feel about this? — A Little Turned Off, St. Boniface

Dear A Little Turned Off: Taking you home was a test and you flunked it. This woman needs an open-minded man in her life who doesn’t look down his nose at his lady’s immigrant parentage. They gave everything to give her what they thought she needed in the world. She loves them dearly.

You are not the right guy for her, and you would be best to admit that to yourself and go get yourself a person who matches your background. Let this woman find a guy who sees her value and enjoys her family. Admiration for the folks is what you should feel, but you don’t, so admit you’re a snob and get out of the way.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m half-sick from what I overheard. My children hate their stepfather and want to move to their dad’s. My second husband has never been overtly cruel to the children that I know of, but he’s cold and tells them not to be babies when they cry. Their father is a cuddly bear with a faithfulness problem. I know in my heart they would be better off with him now as their custodial parent, but I don’t want to give them up. Their dad would love to have them. What should I do? — Don’t Want to Lose My Kids, East Kildonan

Dear Don’t Want to Lose My Kids: Why don’t you get rid of the real problem: the cold stepfather? Is his nice treatment of you worth losing your children over? Why would you want to be with a man who is cold to your children anyway? That should have turned you off. And now that you’ve heard they can’t bear to live their young lives in that home environment, you can either get him out of your life, or be understanding of the kids going to live with their dad.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: At a restaurant, I forced myself to eat food I didn’t think I’d like, and sure enough, I was sick after dinner. My date grumbled that he paid for expensive food that went down the toilet. It was his fault. He pushed to me try this kind of food and I tried to convince him otherwise. He’s very pushy about a lot of things. I thought I could change him with my easygoing ways. Do you think I should persist? Otherwise, he’s an exciting and very attractive guy. — Recovered Now, St. Vital

Dear Recovered Now: Power is always an issue between couples finding their feet. You already know this guy can push you into eating food you really don’t want — and then insult you after. That says you’re not the strongest-willed woman on two legs. You’re better suited to an easygoing fellow you could have a fun life with and settle any arguments you do have with a compromise.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography