The cat came back to bed but the girl never did

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 21/09/2017 (3302 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Sleeping alone was such a drag that I introduced my cat to my bed. A month ago I got a new girlfriend, and out of my bedroom went the cat. He was already used to sleeping on the pillow beside me and took exception to the woman now resting her head on that pillow. I locked him out of my room the first weeks we slept together, but he whimpered at the door. Last week I finally relented and left the door open again. That night the cat sat on her face! He just flopped right down on top of her hair and eyes in his usual spot.

My girlfriend woke up screaming and the cat made a run for it, with me naked and chasing him. I locked him in the second bedroom with the litter box. My girlfriend couldn’t get back to sleep and ended up driving home very upset. I have tried and tried to call her, but she isn’t picking up. I texted her today and asked her what was up. She said, “I won’t compete with a cat, and I can’t ask you to get rid of your pet. You have a choice to make on your own.” I was shocked, but then I felt mad and said, “I choose my cat. I’ve only known you a little while.”

I love having cats, dogs and fish, and always intend to do so. Was I stupid to make that choice as all my pet-free friends have enjoyed telling me? She was a very beautiful girl.

— Just Me and Mr. Kat, North Kildonan

Dear Just Me and Mr. Kat: You did the right thing. If you’re looking for a true match and long-term love, the right woman for you already has pets. She is easygoing and used to fur-bearing friends. She might want the pets left outside of the bedroom, and that’s fair. Cats are territorial and sometimes feel jealous and vindictive, and dogs will often go after someone who appears to be piling on their master and making aggressive sounds.

If you’re online dating, mention your cat and your love of pets. Get the truth right out there and you’ll automatically filter the women who don’t enjoy having animals in the house. The more you are your true self, the less wide you can cast your net, but the better catch in the end.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I went to the lake last weekend and discovered a theft. Things were missing from my cabin shed, though the key was still there on the hidden hook under the cabin. Somebody who thought I was gone for the year had helped themselves to my expensive boat toys; someone who knew where to find the key, I guess. The key location is only known to a few people, but I realize those people, namely my sons, may have gotten the key one day while another person took note of its hiding spot. The last thing I want to do is make accusations, but I’m deeply angry. How do I go about getting my stuff back?

— Lost A Thousand Dollars Worth of Stuff, Winnipeg

Dear Lost A Thousand Dollars Worth of Stuff: Tell your sons about the theft and gauge their reactions. Ask them if they have used the key in front of their friends, and if they could guess who might possibly have taken the boat toys. Explain that you realize an accomplished thief might have looked for and found the key, or picked the lock, but that you’re going to call the police within a day or two unless they think they can help out somehow.

Do give your sons and their friends the benefit of the doubt. You may not have been the only cabin owner in a round of thefts, and police might have even found the cache with your stuff already.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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