Getting undressed before parties half the fun

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This article was published 26/09/2017 (3290 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: When my boyfriend and I get dressed up to go somewhere fancy, he’s always so turned on by each aspect of me getting dressed — the stockings, especially — that he undresses me and we make love and then I have to start all over again.

We are always late, everywhere we go. Should I ask him to stop, or will I regret that in the future? — Not Married Yet, East Kildonan

Dear Not Married Yet: I used to have a counselling office. When women came in about their boring marriages, they usually complained their men used to be fun, impulsive, sexy and affectionate.

With a little digging, they could look back and see the different times they closed the door on their guys and shut down the ability to be warm, spontaneous and adventurous with them.

They remember saying a lot of, “Not now, I have to do this or that.”

When there are children and things really do get hectic, there will be times when both of you have to say that you can’t do it because you have to be somewhere in 15 minutes and that’s legit.

Right now, you could easily schedule an extra hour, so you can play a little round of this dress-and-undress game without stressing.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just got the shock of my life! I was having fun shopping in a thrift shop in sweatpants and an old shirt, when I ran into the ex-wife of my ex-lover. She knew who I was and how good I looked in those old days, but now I look very different. When I was in love with her husband, I had a great job and disposable income. Now, I don’t have him or my great job and I’m pretty broke.

Her husband and I used to meet each other on travel junkets for similar work. They broke up over us.

We were staring at each other. Then she started coming at me and I thought there was going to be a physical fight (she’s known to get violent), but she held out her hand to shake mine.

I didn’t shake it, as I wondered if she planned to take it and slap me in the face with the other one.

She said that I was right to be scared of her, but she wasn’t going to do anything to me.

She actually wanted to thank me because her ex-husband was a chronic cheater and I was probably the third of his affairs.

She said he was seeing someone else at the same time he was seeing me. After catching us in his car, she said she woke up and finally got a divorce.

I stood there dumbly nodding my head. She kept going on and on, telling me about her wonderful new husband and their careers.

She asked about me, but I just walked past her fast and out of the store with my eyes full of tears.

Should I believe her, or was that a bunch of stuff she rehearsed to say to me if she ever saw me?

He said he loved me and I was his one true love at that time. I am dying to know if he was playing me, and he had another affair going at the same time. Should I phone him and ask?

— Obsessing Now, Westwood

Dear Obsessing Now: Life is too short for miserable rewinds. Hopefully you make your love life a progression.

Calling your ex-affair partner to report on what his ex-wife said and to find out what was true or not is playing into her game with you.

Most importantly, it’s old garbage, not worthy of an obsession.

It’s a toss-up if that was a rehearsed speech to let you know you weren’t his love partner, but one of many.

He didn’t have the faithfulness gene, but you know the warmth he had with you way back when.

So let that passion be the memory left and leave this possible fake news alone.

Calling him would set you back in your life, and that’s what she wants. Don’t do it.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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