Wife needs time to warm up to get into sexy role-playing

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This article was published 02/11/2017 (2905 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife now has about six sexy Halloween costumes, and I suggested she keep them handy in her closet. I have a couple I would like to keep around for sexy role-playing in private, such as my pirate Batman costumes, and I was stupid enough to mention it. She said the idea was stupid and after Halloween she was going to put them in the basement until next year. I didn’t say anything, but I am sulking. I’m mad and trying to hide it.

I’m also thinking about this wild woman at work who says right out there she likes to role play. I also know she has a thing for me, but I’m married. Yesterday I had a real good look at her and she’s really attractive, and more fun than my wife who used to buy sex toys and stuff for role-playing. Where did that go? Help!

— Rejected For Wanting Role-Playing, St. Boniface

Dear Rejected For Wanting Role-Playing: Back off this and come back at it a different way in a couple months. She may not want to fool around in Halloween costumes because they are associated with kids’ costumes, but she might be interested in costuming that just goes with sexy role-playing. She was into it at one time, so she’s had basic interest. It could be she’s not that size anymore, or tired from having kids, if you have any.

You two need to talk about that kind of role-playing, but not now when it’s a hot button. Just cool it, regain your happy disposition and forget the woman at work, unless you want real trouble.

For now, go online and hit the sex shops in Winnipeg and check out their clothing and costume sections for men, but keep mum about looking. Get yourself educated, but don’t push it by buying your wife role-playing lingerie and costumes you want her to wear. That’s not a gift to her, it’s a gift to you, and will only inspire derision and stubborn negative feelings. If you’re clever, you may be able to get into a situation you both find fun in the bedroom.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I thought love was supposed to last forever and it lasted two lousy weeks. She says I started being too possessive and now she doesn’t love me anymore. What kind of love lasts two weeks? I said I was crazy about her too, but I didn’t say the word “love.” Was that the problem? I did feel closer to her, started calling her on her cell a lot and things started getting physically hotter, but she didn’t let me touch her below the waist. We are both 14 and in most of the same classes, and it’s about to get really horrible. Please tell me what’s going on. What can I do?

— Gut Aching, Winnipeg

Dear Gut Aching: She said she loved you, but you didn’t say it back because it wasn’t there for you honestly, yet. That didn’t mean you didn’t feel a lot, but she was embarrassed and the power felt tipped in your favour. Then you started making more moves on her body, which made her feel you were taking advantage of her declaration of love. She was hurt and mad, and backed off.

Don’t worry too much about the loss of “love.” It wasn’t the kind of real love that lasts, but she was definitely feeling infatuated. That’s an excited feeling at the beginning of new relationships when you like a lot about a person and then think the rest of them must be perfect. It’s hard not to say the L word at that point and infatuation can disappear very quickly when the “perfect” person disappoints in his or her response, and that’s what happened here. Be stubbornly polite, saying hello in class, and things will eventually cool out and become civil, if not friendly.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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