Nylon stocking in bed could be his

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This article was published 06/12/2017 (3149 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I found a nylon stocking at the bottom of the bed at my boyfriend’s place. It still had the crease in it from the packaging, like it had never been worn. I’m having all kinds of unwanted thoughts about that stocking. Why would an unworn stocking be down at the end of the bed, between the sheets?

Does this mean he’s recently had another woman in his bed, or he was wearing one stocking and getting a thrill from it, or he was using stockings to tie up someone (not me) for bondage play? I don’t know what to say, and I’m afraid to guess wrong.

Please help me.

— Very Upset and Feeling Awkward, Osborne Village

Dear Very Upset and Feeling Awkward: Your best move is to hand him the offending stocking and say, “I found this at the bottom of the bed and it doesn’t belong to me. What’s going on? I need the truth, fast!” Don’t accept any stalls, because that’s the dodge of a guy who needs time to come up with a false story.

The stocking either belongs to another woman; your boyfriend, who wears them himself; or your boyfriend, who uses them for ties with somebody else.

You need to get to the bottom of this right after you ask so that it doesn’t float around in your head, tormenting you. Then decide what to do.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This letter is in regards to Concerned Older Dad, River Heights, about the guy in his 70s who has fallen for a woman in her 70s, and the concern his children have in regards to inheritance. I read a word that raised a red flag for me in the letter. The word “will.” A will is not a prenuptial agreement. You told the couple to see lawyers, keep the wills much the same and tell the anxious heirs to keep their jobs because they will still need them as the amount of inheritance is not that much.

My father-in-law was wearing a pair of rose-coloured glasses when he fell in love with a similar-aged woman in their 70s. She was attractive, fit and outgoing. She appeared to be a good match, and said all of the right things, agreeing to a will that would provide for his family and for her.

However, a few years after the wedding, our eyes were opened and his became clouded with Alzheimer’s disease. During that period, wills were changed. (Even if they hadn’t, the majority of the money was moved into a shared marital-property condo.) Needless to say, when my father-in-law passed, she inherited everything and nothing was left for us or the grandchildren. You can believe we are not mentioned in the new wife’s will.

I am writing this to make both members of the couple aware they need to proceed with caution. The bottom line is that no matter your age and the fact that you are in love, legal advice regarding pre-marital assets and protecting inheritance is very important.

— Word of Caution, Fort Garry

Dear Word of Caution: Thanks for your story, and the advice arising from your family’s bitter experience. That woman your dad married effectively cleaned him out. You have to wonder if she got advice on how to do that, as it took several clever moves. I think you’re saying any couple possessing any kind of money or property — on one side or both — in a society with a high divorce rate like ours should protect themselves with pre-nuptial agreements as well as wills.

In your situation, a woman came into the family in her 70s and managed to take everything your dad had. That’s not what your dad wanted. There’s something to be said for giving the family a portion of their inheritances early — not to cripple their ambition, but to make sure they get the good of the money when they need it, and before something like this can happen.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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