Having multiple girlfriends means buying many gifts

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This article was published 10/12/2017 (3217 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have three girlfriends and they are all very important to me. But there’s still no one who feels important enough to ditch the other two. I love them all — one goes to my school, two go to other high schools — so I am looking for three nice Christmas presents. I wish I could just buy them all the same thing, but my brother, who’s in university already, says only a lazy jerk would do that.

I want to make them all happy and keep myself out of trouble.

One is going on a trip with her family for Christmas, and the other two will be in Winnipeg, so there’s some juggling ahead for me.

I haven’t asked any of them to be true to me, but they all talk like I’m the only one. I pretend I’m just super-busy at my restaurant job.

I need your help on handling Christmas or I could end up in a bad situation.

— Lovin’ Em All, Winnipeg

Dear Lovin’ Em All: First, don’t kid yourself or the girlfriends that you feel true love for all three.

You like them all a lot, probably find them fun, interesting and/or exciting and sexy — and you can choose words like that to express your feelings. But don’t complicate things for yourself and them by misusing the big L word to make up for your guilt at three-timing these girls.

As for gifts, your brother is right. Each girl should get a different gift, with some thought as to what her unique personality tells you she might want. Rings of any kind are a big mistake, but a bracelet, necklace or earrings can still be personal without making a statement about commitment.

As for family Christmas events, go to their places rather than having them over to your house, where someone in your family is likely to get mixed up.

After Christmas, you might want to simplify your life by realizing none of these three are the total answer for you. While spending all your time with them may be good for your ego, it keeps you from finding someone who really hits the mark in every way for you.

Also, you’re wasting the time of these three girls by stringing them along and not allowing them to look for a true boyfriend, which you are not.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I need emergency help. My heart has just been broken by my children, who are not coming home for the holidays.

They say they’ve made a deal with their in-laws and will be going to their places every other year.

What about my husband and me? What are we supposed to do on the years we are alone?

We’re retired and really put a lot into family Christmases, and now we feel like we’ve been abandoned.

We are snowbirds with a trailer who don’t leave until January in order to share in and host a beautiful snowy white Christmas with our children and our grandchildren.

— All Alone This Christmas, Winnipeg

Dear All Alone This Christmas: This would be a good year to pick up and go south early. In fact, you could pack up now and be gone! Why not try it? Then you can find out what it feels like to celebrate Christmas with your friends and neighbours in the park where you live all winter. You could be there in time to decorate and get in on all the Christmas fun and celebrations down there.

Instead of pouting and making your children feel guilty for keeping peace in their families, go have fun. Arrange to Skype while you’re away so you can see family when you’re talking, and share some of the Christmas fun online with them.

With any luck, you’ll start looking forward to your alternating snowy and sunny Christmas celebrations.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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