Mom’s best friend is actually her lover

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This article was published 30/01/2018 (3169 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mother is a pretty woman with a beautiful heart and a great sense of humour. She keeps us laughing through thick or thin, but she never has a boyfriend. We have asked her about that and she says our father, who died of cancer, will always be her one and only man and she will see him again in heaven.

We used to buy that as a romantic reason, but my brother pointed out she has this really close girlfriend we call our auntie with a year-round cabin at a lake not far from the city. They spend a lot of weekends there together. We’ve all been there at one time or another.

Last weekend, I drove up to visit the two of them there to make a surprise visit and noticed only one bedroom in use. The other was crammed with deck furniture. I asked who slept on the couch and they looked at each other, then back to me, they hummed and hawed and then my mom said they flip a coin. I didn’t believe that.

When I went to the bathroom I snooped around the bedroom and my mom’s suitcase was out of sight, her clothes were on the bed and in an open drawer and I started to clue in: they are actually lesbian partners.

When I was leaving, I hugged them both and said, “You’re together, aren’t you?” and my mom cried and said yes, but not to tell the younger kids. None of us are that young (12 to 18). I argued we should all know because we mistakenly thought our mother was lonely and needed a man in her life.

What do you think? Who should tell them? — Oldest Kid, Winnipeg

Dear Oldest Kid: The whole family should know the truth now and your brother is actually the one who kind of clued you in. Some of the family will react like you did — it’s just fine — and another kid might be shocked at first, or at least uncomfortable until they get used to it. Since everybody likes this lady, it’s likely they will adapt quickly.

So tell your mom that your brother already guessed and everyone needs to know and you can tell them if she wants, so she doesn’t have to make a big announcement. The kids need to know their mother is not living a lonely life and is happy and loved by an adult.

Also, when the news gets out in the broader family, the rest of the adults can stop feeling sorry for your mom.

It would be nice for all who love her to know that she has an adult partner who watches out for her.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: There are too many animals in our bed and my husband isn’t the worst of them — I am the most sexual if I wake up in the middle of the night! The furry animals get in the way.

We’re not an old couple and we don’t have any kids yet. I would like a more amorous bedroom and my husband would rather we cuddle as a family with the two dogs. I have told him he would get more action if he would put the dogs out, but he says, “OK! Let’s do it right now and then the animals can come back in.”

All of a sudden it’s not spontaneous anymore. I tried kicking the dogs out totally for a week, but they cried at the bedroom door and my husband let them back in. — Need Sexy Nights Back, Manitoba

Dear Need Sexy Nights Back: Do the dogs have kennel time or regular play time in the yard after dinner? If so, that could become your play time in the house with your husband.

Let’s face it, a lot of people don’t want to be awoken in the middle of a deep sleep to satisfy their mate’s raging hot desire. Can you ask your husband how he really feels about this?

Some people even feel nauseous.

Maybe he subconsciously uses the snoring dogs for protection. Tell him you need to find a rhythm so you can make time for yourselves in the bedroom without the four-legged creatures around.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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