Introvert needs to take a chance on romance

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This article was published 06/04/2018 (3109 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I am an introvert, and people don’t understand me. I work in a job where I must be pleasant, patient and accessible to people, solving problems all day. I am articulate, but I don’t make appointments for social events — not even lunches out except with my son. My husband died years ago, and I have not put in much effort to find a new mate, so I don’t have one. I am sexual, but that has been lying dormant too.

The reason I’m writing is because this lively extrovert has burst into my life. He knows me through work, although he works for another company. I see him a couple times a week at work. Just before Easter, he visited my office. And while he was leaning over my computer looking at something over my shoulder, he kissed my hair! I just smiled.

The next day he brought me a surprise bunch of flowers, and I found them in water on my desk. I guess he may have brought the vase and the water, too, since my secretary denied any knowledge of them. She had a little smile when I asked her about them, which tells me she’s probably lying. They may be plotting together, as I know she thinks I should get out more.

I’m not used to having a man in my life. I don’t know what to do. I’m feeling some stirrings of strong sexual desires I haven’t felt for years that kept me awake last night, and now today are bothering me at the office. By the way, I’m 49. I don’t want a wild, social life. Please help!

— Confused By My Reaction, West Winnipeg

Dear Confused by My Reaction: On the outside — and perhaps you have convinced yourself of this — you don’t need anybody anymore. The interesting thing about women is they can go into hibernation sexually, and actually feel quite comfortable until a sexually attractive and interesting man comes into their realm. You were quite OK with this man kissing your hair as you both bent toward the computer screen. Some people would be thinking he had crossed a line, but you were OK with it — more than OK, in fact. He lit the pilot light in your furnace, and it’s burning again.

Liking, loving and sex are good for you — physically, mentally and emotionally. Your heart knows this and is reasserting its sexual-need component. Celebrate this fact! Enjoy this little romance and see where it goes. Yes, it’s happening at work. But, he’s from another company, and you know nothing’s happening within your own company, and you simply don’t got out enough to meet anybody. Going on a few dates with someone and having a wild social life are two different things.

Your secretary is fine with it, so enjoy having a little support there, but don’t feel you have to discuss it with her. You can even pretend to believe her when she says she doesn’t know anything. Lucky you, having a spring romance come right to your office, complete with flowers!

Write back and let us know how it goes. My readers and I are and intrigued with romances — our own and other people’s, too.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is for Going Crazy?, the lady who is seeing the little lights above the bed at night. There’s probably a scientific explanation you may not have thought of. It is very dry right now. Until we started running a small humidifier in the bedroom at night, there were little lights too — sparks of static electricity let off by the wool blanket when we turned over in bed. They were very bright! Tell her that. They will go away as the weather becomes generally more humid. Hope this helps.

— C.M., Winnipeg

Dear C.M.: That’s a lot less scary than the idea that there might be something supernatural going on.

I suggested to Going Crazy she check for reflections from ice-covered trees near the window caused by the moon or a street light. I also referred her to the website psychic-experiences.com, where people report strange lights in the room.

The odd thing that struck me is she woke her husband and he couldn’t see anything.

There seems to be no easy answer for this one. Anybody else had this experience? She said they looked like many little fireflies in the air in the bedroom.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB. R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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