Husband wants mirrors on bedroom ceiling

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 29/04/2018 (2724 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I live in a small city. My husband has recently been doing a lot of weight-lifting and loves the look of his body in the mirror. Last night he suggested we put up mirrors in our bedroom on the ceiling and the headboard. He’s even been checking out how much it would cost. I have a decent body, but I don’t want to be looking at him looking at himself in action with me. I have no interest in this. We have had sex in front of the bathroom mirror and it did nothing exciting for me.

Last night, we had a showdown and he asked what my biggest objections were and I told him I didn’t want to look at my own naked body and that we would have to fire the cleaning service because it would be weird and they would gossip about us. So what should we do?

— Don’t Want Mirrors For Sex, Small Manitoba City

Dear Don’t Want Mirrors For Sex: You can buy mirrors and prop them up when you want to play with them, but I agree with you they might be a topic of conversation if the bedroom is permanently fixed with mirrors. It’s just juicy gossip, more than most folks could keep to themselves. One of the cleaners might tell a best fiend who tells another, and another. You know how it goes.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m attracted to my boss, who is a wonderful woman: bright and beautiful. I wasn’t attracted to her until I started working more closely as her administrative assistant. Then I became privy to a lot of her special qualities which made her look very beautiful to me. I am lesbian and so is she. I don’t have anyone in my love life and she doesn’t either, that I know of. I don’t want to lose this job because it’s the best job I ever had.

— Got the Warmies for My Boss, Winnipeg

Dear Got the Warmies for My Boss: There’s nothing particularly unusual about people getting crushes on attractive people they admire at work. The thing is you have to compartmentalize now. You can’t carry that crush anywhere except in a locked compartment in your heart, and don’t label it love in your mind. It’s a work crush. Lots of people have them.

Use the energy of the crush to inspire your brain to do exemplary work, to enjoy being at work and dressing well (that means business dress, not sexy dress). But be careful! You can’t allow much more than that into your head or you’ll have to go job hunting, as it will grow too uncomfortable for you, but maybe she’ll give you a great recommendation and that will help with your heartache.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband is a funny and sophisticated man, and I get a kick out of his remarks. His witty sense of humour is not appreciated by my uneducated mother, who doesn’t have a witty bone in her body. All she does is tell jokes she hears from her bingo pals. Many of them are lame, sexual, in very poor taste and often racist.

My husband is from another country, and she’s not stupid enough to insult people from his country, but everybody else is fair game. My husband just walks out of the room disgusted. Then she’ll ask me how I could have married someone who has no sense of humour.

He thinks she’s low class. I worry about her one day forgetting and insulting his country and his people. She’s my mom and she would do anything for me. I love her anyway. I love them both, but they can’t stand each other. How can I get them to like each other?

— Caught in the Middle, West End

Dear Caught in the Middle: People you love don’t have to love each other. You can be in the middle and love them both, but stop trying to throw them together unless there’s a bunch of other people in a room. That’s right, just give up! They will both be relieved. You and your husband married each other, end of story.

See your mom for lunches, shopping and bawdy entertainment she would appreciate, and go out with your husband the rest of the time to things you both enjoy. Forget the family dinner idea, unless it’s a big dinner with other distractions to drown out your mom when she starts telling jokes and becoming annoying.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6