She doesn’t give certain pleasures, only receives

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 01/05/2018 (2723 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a new girlfriend who lights up the room when she walks in.

We have had some missionary sex (no rockets going off yet) and we have started to get closer in many other ways, with much more to look forward to, sexually.

Everything seemed full-steam ahead with us, then we got into a really intimate talk on the phone last night and she confessed she loved to receive oral sex, but said she wouldn’t give it until hell freezes over.

I was stunned.

I went quiet.

I like to give oral sex and love to receive it.

I don’t know whether to try to talk her into it, give up the idea of having it with her, or purposely keep this thing lighter emotionally and get myself a sex buddy.

I guess I could tell her the relationship needs to be open because I want things she can’t give me sexually.

What do you think?

— Feeling Disappointed, St. Boniface

 

Dear Feeling Disappointed: If you have a feeling this could be a forever mate, then you may want to think twice.

Since you’re already starting out thinking the sex is not all you could wish for, and taking into account sex often calms down with time and babies, you might want to find yourself a different girlfriend — one who sparkles in and out of bed.

Agreeing to give up the kind of sex you crave is not a good idea.

That you’re even thinking you might have to find a secondary sex buddy right now — at the very beginning — seems like a big warning from the love gods.

 

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a guy at The Forks who was on a bench by the river.

There were no leaves on the trees to protect him and he was asleep, getting a sunburn.

I woke him up and told him he was on fire! He jumped up and said, “What?” I told him his face was getting sunburned.

He said thanks, and we chatted for a couple of minutes.

Then, he asked me if I would like to go inside for a thank-you drink, on him.

I was by myself, but it’s a public place, so I said yes.

When he paid for my drink, he seemed to have a fair amount of money in his wallet.

When I asked him about his work, he told me he was a musician in a band.

When I asked him where he lived, he blushed and said he was couchsurfing at the moment.

I didn’t give him time to explain, I just finished my drink in a gulp and got out of there.

Was that an appropriate thing to do?

I was scared he was homeless and might ask if he could sleep on my couch.

— The Snob? St. Vital

 

Dear The Snob: You should have stuck around for more conversation.

You might have asked him at least a few more questions instead of instantly judging him and disappearing.

No doubt it hurt him to get brushed off abruptly.

Now you’re stuck with a head full of questions you could have asked and didn’t.

You have no idea what his situation might be.

A lot of musicians have done a little couchsurfing before they’ve made it big enough to support themselves.

This fellow was forthcoming about his situation and didn’t try to hide it from you.

He had enough money, so he wasn’t destitute.

For all you know, he was moving from one apartment to another and had to sleep on a friend’s couch for a few weeks until he could move in.

Some people would call that couchsurfing to be funny. You’ll never know now.

On the other hand, maybe it’s best you didn’t stay and dig into the details, as he had blushed and was obviously a little embarrassed already, telling his life situation to a stranger.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6