Cool your jets on airport crush

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 28/01/2020 (2407 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I met a sweetheart of a man in the airport. We were flying off in different directions, but held up by weather. We really hit it off over two hours in the restaurant, waiting for our planes to be able to take off.

I slipped my engagement ring into my purse 10 minutes after meeting him, don’t ask me why! I didn’t see a ring on his hand. I’m not married or anything but I am a sort of engaged. By that, I mean there is no date, just some time in future (that’s his idea) and that could be two years from now — or more — he says.

I gave the guy in the airport my business card. What bothers me is I really want to see him again. He didn’t offer me his card back, and there was an uncomfortable little silence while I was waiting for his card to be offered. What does that mean?

— Up in the Air, Back in Winnipeg

Dear Up In the Air: It means he doesn’t want you calling his number or emailing him. That probably means he’s taken and was just being friendly. Or, it could mean he wasn’t all that attracted after he saw you slip your ring in your purse.

Guys don’t chat about every little thing they see, but that doesn’t mean they’re blind to what’s going on. They’re often on alert at the beginning for telltale signs of a woman’s availability, and how much she seems to be attracted to him.

You’ve heard of airships that pass in the night? Well, guess what — you’re two of them.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Unfortunately, I ran into an old girlfriend in a big automotive store, wearing my sweatpants and a dirty old jacket, as I’d been fixing my truck. She was working that section, and looked at me like she smelled week-old garbage. You could see her lip curl. I said, “Never mind. I’ll ask somebody who looks like they want to help me.”

She muttered something under her breath that sounded like “loser” to me. I mustered my dignity and walked away. That night she called me — drunk as usual by midnight — crying and asking me to forgive her and to take her back for “one more try.”

I said, “You seem to have mistaken me for another guy in your store today. I’m not a loser. You are a drunk and the big loser, and I don’t want you back!”

She was still bawling when I hung up. Why doesn’t she let me go? I couldn’t sleep all night.

— Messed Up By Her, Downtown

Dear Messed Up: So why did you go to her workplace, to her department, and in your dirtiest ugliest clothes? Just to show her how much you don’t care? That message would come across better if you stayed away and didn’t call.

What did you call her when you broke up? Let me guess. Was it a “loser?”

Since you two are still emotionally attached, but settling for “chance” meetings and fighting, instead of working things out and making up, get some help! Take yourselves to a relationship counsellor ASAP, or maybe you just go on your own for a bit and then you might invite your ex to join you later.

Meanwhile, she needs a private counsellor or a support group for her drinking like Alcoholics Anonymous, and you might try out Al-Anon if you’re seriously in love with her. That’s the group for friends and loved ones of alcoholics.

Stop doing more of what doesn’t work, but do try something else, as it’s obvious you’re not finished with each other yet.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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