Trip down relationship rabbit hole enlightening

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 24/07/2020 (2213 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m staying home, off work because of COVID-19 restrictions for a while yet. I needed a diversion, as I was losing my mind with loneliness and boredom, so I decided on a crazy project — to make a list of all my old boyfriends and find out what happened to them.

I searched through Facebook, including present friends, high school buddies, “friends of friends” and some relatives. If any of your readers decide to do it, they should know cousins are helpful but siblings are suspicious. Don’t even bother with mothers!

So, in my case, starting from age 12, I had 14 minor, medium and major boyfriends. I got married the first time in my late 20s.

My search turned up a lot of married guys, a few married twice, and some guys living on different continents!

A couple of the guys are single, and we recently had catch-up chats. Good thing I wasn’t looking to revive an old romance, because I found out there’s usually a good reason you broke up with someone or the relationship petered out! But it’s a really fun thing to do, especially if you’re bored at home.

—  Anonymous Researcher, Manitoba  

Dear Researcher: Lots of people who dated a lot are at least mildly curious about what happened to their old boyfriends and girlfriends. Except for reunions, city folks don’t tend to find out much about exes. But, if they stay in the same neighbourhood of the same town or city all their lives, they know what happened to some of them. You can bet more than a few friends and relatives wondered why you were asking after certain married guys, and purposely were not helpful!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m having a problem this summer with my serious girlfriend. Lately, she doesn’t want to go to the lake with me where I have a cabin and a beautiful boat. I love being out on the water but she is afraid of a boating accident, as she knew someone who died in one.

I try to explain to her that I don’t go fast with her on the boat and she will be wearing the best life jacket money can buy. She says it’s the fact that I (a strong swimmer) feel I don’t have to wear one.

We’d been getting quite serious and last night it came out, over a few drinks, that she was afraid if we ever got married and had kids, I’d be wanting them in the boat with me, and I wouldn’t be wearing a life jacket. She’s probably right. What now?

— Cool Wind Blowing, Winnipeg

Dear Cool Wind: So, you’d let your desire to go without a life jacket come between you and a woman you are crazy about? Then let it happen. Being stubborn on ignoring a crucial safety point is a strange way to lose a potential mate, but that’s the kind of boater you are. She, on the other hand, lost a friend in a boating accident and she lives with that fear.

Now she’s not wanting to go to the lake anymore with you — and you are always going to be an enthusiastic lake person. It looks like this isn’t going to be a match. This lady would be best off to find a mate who’d wear a life jacket, even if he felt he didn’t need one, so he’d be an example to the kids and she wouldn’t have to worry so much about losing any of her family members.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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