Curbside flirtation could have real ramifications

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 03/12/2020 (1779 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I ran into an old boyfriend doing some curbside pick-up. Man, was he looking good! He’s kind of like the Lone Ranger with silver hair, wearing his black mask and white cowboy hat.

He called out to me, and we stood far apart and ended up talking for a long time. He’s divorced — and I wish I was too! I guess that’s not the same thing.

I can’t get my mind off my cowboy since then. My boring husband who is a far cry from attentive has even noticed I’m “off in space somewhere.” Not that he cares.

Since I had gotten this guy’s phone number when I first met him, I thought, “what the heck?” and called him to meet for curbside pickup again! He said “Let’s both bring our own coffee and donuts — and stay awhile.”

So, we had a secret meeting COVID-style, the sun was shining out, and it felt even better than the first time. I feel alive again!

There’s no harm in it because we can’t “get together” safely as they say. And, as he says, we’re both older than God, so no one will suspect us meeting in a parking lot.

My question? What if this progresses? I secretly think it will. How will I stop meeting this guy, when neither of us wants to stop? — Too Old For This? Winnipeg

Dear Too Old?: Few people are immune to lust when a romance hits them over the head, but you don’t mention wanting to break up with your hubby.

Try to envision that breakup in detail, and all it would mean to you, your husband, your family, and possibly grandchildren. Don’t like the picture?

Once you take a hard look at this, sneaking away for these coffee dates may feel like more trouble than it’s worth. Besides it’s getting colder and that can fizzle an outdoor flirtation.

If not, the fastest way to get the parking lot passion stopped, is to tell your husband you ran into an old boyfriend, and you have had coffee together a time or two. Ask him “if he minds.”

He’ll probably mind, and there could be a fight, a much-needed talk and even a make-up session that stirs up your marital romance again.

Or, Hubby might not care. If that’s the case, you two need to have a big talk about where your marriage has gone and what you’re going to do about it, or if you’re going to set yourselves free.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Christmas is about a month away, and as a big extended French-Canadian family, the pandemic means we can’t get together like last year — 22 of us in the kitchen/dining room. So, we’re meeting online via Zoom at 4:30 p.m. for Christmas dinner “together-apart.”

My young wife from an anglophone background (we have two little kids) is not satisfied by this. She wants us to have our own private dinner table and not be “a tiny part” of this big party.

I understand how she feels, but I want to see my brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews and the parents. Help! — Longing for My Loved Ones, St. Boniface

Dear Longing: You don’t have to make your Christmas into a big “either/or” deal. Accommodate everyone and eat lightly, twice.

Consider a Christmas meal with your anglophone-background wife and kids at noon and then all of you can join with the francophone gang on Zoom at 4:30 p.m.

So what if you’ve already eaten too much! Make up a little dessert plate and join the crew.

Then you will have satisfied your wife’s desire for family intimacy at Christmas and your need for the big social gathering on Zoom later in the day.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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