Maturity could mend things with old flame

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 20/10/2021 (1809 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I ran into a girlfriend I loved-and-left after three months of dating because I was too young to really fall in love and settle down. She could have been “the one.” I was a great musician, headed for the big time (in my own mind). That fame didn’t happen and I ended up waking up to reality. I went to university and studied for a profession in yet another city.

I never stopped dreaming about that girl, but always passed it off as a memory of my youth. So, now I’m living back in Winnipeg and who do I run into, when l’m walking my new puppy? There she was with her lady dog, walking along beside her. My male puppy started jumping all over her, which made us both remember how we were with each other.

I said, “Remind you of anything?” She laughed and actually blushed and we stopped and watched the dogs playing together, rolling in the grass.

I looked at her. My God, she’s still a beautiful woman.

I suddenly said: “I’m single. Are you?” and she said, “Um… maybe.” I don’t get that, or maybe I don’t want to get it. Then she made an excuse and left, but she quickly wrote down her number and “cellphone,” and put it in my hand. Please shed some light for me.

— Wanting Her Badly Again, St. Vital

Dear Wanting: She definitely wants you to phone — but not the home phone, just her cell. If she’s with somebody, and she isn’t so happy with them, she might break it off — unless you’re still the “love-her-and-leave-her” guy you used to be.

This is Winnipeg, and people love to help when they sniff romance. So, shake off the fear and start asking around. You’ll soon find out what her relationship status is, but don’t go after her again, if you just like her looks.

However, if you’re staying in Winnipeg, and are ready for dating and possibly a real relationship, why not call her? Then ask her what’s up in her romantic life, and tell her what has changed in you as you’ve matured. You may have really hurt her last time, and she may not have felt she could trust you with upfront personal information on a chance meeting. But now she can — you know that — and it’s time for truth on both sides.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a cousin who’s always after me for money, like small loans of 20 bucks he never pays back. That’s chump change in my world, and he knows it. At Thanksgiving dinner he sat beside me and quietly asked me for “a small loan for gas,” because his car might not make it home. I knew it was bull, but I slid him $5 and said, “Never again.” He had the nerve to look insulted at the amount. Apparently, I’d “gone cheap” on him.

I had another couple of drinks after his family left, and let the story slip to my mom. She asked how much “that little sponge” owed me, and I told her the truth: “At least 200 bucks.” She phoned up her sister the next day, and my poor auntie put $200 in an envelope and slipped it into my mom’s mailbox to give to me — with a card of apologies from their family.

Now I feel bad for my aunt who doesn’t have much money — when I have more than enough. She’s spent her adult life cleaning up money messes, tickets and other fines for her overgrown boy. What should I do with the $200 — mail it back? Or will that enable him to come back for more?

— Feel Sorry for My Auntie, rural Manitoba

Dear Sorry for Auntie: Don’t mail back the $200. Your aunt needs to feel everything is OK between the two families, and that you still care about her. Now her son’s sponging activities with you have been tallied up and exposed, he’ll leave you alone, but will keep hitting up other people!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a suggestion for Embarrassed Allergy Guy whose new girlfriend cooked a surprise dinner he couldn’t eat. Perhaps he could invite her to a lovely home-cooked dinner at his place, showing her he does appreciate the effort she went to, and also showcasing foods he can eat.

— Just a little Mom Advice, Manitoba

Dear Mom: Good advice! I’d add that the person with allergies in a new relationship could make a longer list of what they can eat and a short list of what would mean a stomach ache and diarrhea — or require an emergency EpiPen shot and perhaps emergency medical care.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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