Moving on with ex’s brother won’t be easy

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This article was published 10/11/2021 (1740 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I married a very nice man in his late 30s because I’d left the commitment-and-babies thing too long — and had to get with it. I only wanted one child, and we had him — and he’s the best!

Then my husband’s younger brother, who’s nearer my age, came to Canada from their home country. The brother knocked me out — real love at first sight! He was everything I’d ever wanted in a man and never quite found. He knew it, and I knew it, but we couldn’t act on it, so he went back home.

During COVID my husband and I split up because he knew it wasn’t love between us, and he had found another woman. I was secretly pleased, but I had to pretend I wasn’t.

Now, his younger brother is coming to Canada again — to see me.

I must confess we’ve been communicating online and by phone since he went back home.

How do we break it to my ex? His brother will be staying with me when he’s here. We’re hoping he will move to Canada permanently and we’ll be a couple.

— Explosive Situation, West End

Dear Explosive: The brothers will have to talk it out before the trip happens, as younger bro is staying at your place.

Try to set the foundation for a peaceful chat by telling your ex-husband you’re happy he’s happy, and talk about the fact you had this beautiful child together.

Tell him you understand the marriage wasn’t working, possibly because both your hearts weren’t totally in it. Explain that you thought it would work out because both of you wanted a baby so much.

Unfortunately, it didn’t turn into long-term love, but now your ex-husband has found a person he does love romantically. You have, too; unfortunately it’s his younger brother.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a beautiful woman over her mask while I was in the dentist’s chair, and fell for her. She had big brown eyes, a soft, sexy voice, and a gentle sense of humour. I can’t stop thinking about this angel!

She had no rings I could see under her gloves, so she must be single, and she’s roughly my age, from what I could figure out.

I can’t book another appointment when I don’t need anything fixed. I could book a cleaning, just to get myself back in the office, but what if I don’t get her as my hygienist?

I guess I could send her flowers to the office but that might seem kind of nerdy. I’m so interested in her. Please help me.

— Intrigued, Fort Garry

Dear Intrigued: Forget the flowers, and dial it down a bit. When you’re back at the office, you could mention to someone there the great interaction you had with this particular hygienist, and describe her in glowing terms. You can be sure it’ll get back to her. If she remembers you and is interested, something could possibly develop down the road, but be respectful as it’s not appropriate to be hitting on people at their place of work.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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