Strange kind of harmony with tunesmith

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This article was published 15/01/2022 (1678 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My boyfriend is a songwriter and he’s written some great tunes with lyrics about me, in the past. I felt honoured.

However, we had a breakup that lasted two looonnng weeks at Christmas.

We have since gotten back together. He wrote a lot of songs over those weeks apart, but he refuses to play them for me. He said smugly, “The best one will make a hit, but it will make you livid!”

Well, I waited until he went to sleep and I looked through his guitar case and found the nasty song. I read the lyrics and my face was burning. He wrote, “She’s a b***h beyond compare, the witch with red-black hair.”

I have red-black hair, but I will not be called nasty names for the public to consume.

He also woke up and caught me in the act of snooping! I ripped that song up in pieces when he was gathering up to leave my place.

All I said was: “Serves you right to try to make money off of me!” His reply was that I have no right to control what he writes. I said, “Not if you slander me to the world!”

So now he says I’ll never get to hear any new songs after this. What should I do? He thinks he’s going to be famous.

— Songwriter’s Angry Girlfriend, downtown Winnipeg

Dear Angry: The interesting part is you two aren’t really breaking up over this, so it’s just a lover’s spat. Underneath your anger over being called a name, you kind of enjoy being a songwriter’s muse. As a retort, tell him you’ll give tell-all interviews about his unattractive personal habits when he’s famous. That might put a cramp in his songwriting hand — or just spur him on!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I had a hot man at the beginning of COVID. I didn’t feel the lovey-dovey stuff back — I just wanted him for fun and games, which he was really good at. But then he went and got serious on me anyway. I had to let him go because I didn’t want to marry him and he said he was “in love” with me.

Now it’s deep COVID time again, and I’m so lonely. I wonder if should call him up for some fun. I bet he’s lonely, too. It’s been impossible to find other good guys.

Because I wasn’t getting any nibbles on Tinder, I decided to take stock. I looked in the mirror naked, front and back, and I still look good. I’m an athlete and I played league sports before the COVID mess. What should I do?

— Bored-stiff Athlete, Osborne Village

Dear Athlete: Forget the poor guy you turfed — it’s unkind to use him again. Just keep your sex life on pause, because it’s unsafe right now. But, make sure to get social again. Make a list of friends, relatives and closer teammates and work your way through it over a few weeks — saying hello, and catching up with people.

If they’re willing to be seen by you, use programs like Zoom or FaceTime as it’s closer to a real visit when you can see facial expressions and have some laughs together.

Also, get seriously ready for when your sport resumes. Lots of people will have been snacking and slacking and gotten soft. You could pull ahead of the pack through workouts and lots of outdoor walking so you’re prepared to re-launch yourself when COVID eases up and the games are back on.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mother re-married with a younger man. I visited their home in Winnipeg for Christmas and got to know him pretty well. Super guy! When I was driving back out to the town where I work, I thought to myself. “Mom got it right the second time. An older man was wrong for her! Dad was a bore.”

At my workplace, there’s a hot younger guy. Should I let him know I’m interested in him, even though he’s seven years younger? I’m in my early 30s, but look 25, which is his age. What do you think?

— Ready For a Younger Guy, rural Manitoba

Dear Ready: That makes your “romance target” in his early to mid-20s. A guy who’s three to five years younger — in his late 20s — would make a better match, if you want to be with a younger man.

Also, you should consider the minuses for you. What if you’re ready for babies and a family, and he wants five more years of freedom from kids and responsibilities? What you need is a lively guy who’s at the same “stage” — not age — as you are.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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