Outside help could make for happier home

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 13/01/2022 (1664 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: You can imagine my disappointment when I opened my January birthday present from my husband — a vacuum with all the bells and whistles. So unromantic!

After two years of marriage it turns out my husband does nothing in our home life — no cooking or chores, except taking out the garbage. We’re a double-income-no-kids couple, if you don’t count our pets.

Please help me understand him. I know he doesn’t understand women and romance, but I don’t like that old-fashioned macho nonsense. We’re both in our 30s, but we’re really…

— Not Getting Each Other, Sage Creek

Dear Not Getting Each Other: Your husband may feel guilty for not helping with housework, so the fancy vacuum is a way to make house-cleaning easier, and try to get you to be less resentful.

Since you both have careers, hiring a cleaning service and splitting the cost would set you up nicely. Then you can both work hard without resentment, and enjoy restful or romantic times together after work. Why not start having fun with a new guilt-free way of living?

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve been secretly falling for my mother-in-law, who is the same kind of woman as my young wife — only more exciting. I didn’t get to know my wife’s mom before she moved to Winnipeg, during the first year of this pandemic.

Her husband died several years before and she kind of invited herself to come to Winnipeg, out of loneliness. She only stayed with us for a month, and then rented her own little country place with a barn and corral, just outside the city. She’s busy meeting her neighbours and looking into getting a horse or two, as she loves to ride. Every time we talk to her, she’s on another step of her new adventure — a real bright light!

Last night my wife — also a horse lover — told me something that darkened my enthusiasm and made me feel really bad. She said, “I can’t help but notice how excited you are about my mother. All my life she has outshone me and this feels like another instance of it. I’m afraid I might lose you!” Then the tears came. I felt terrible.

I’m always talking about what her mom is doing and wanting to go over there. There’s always excitement swirling around her, as she received a lot of money after her husband died and can pretty much do what she wants now. She’s a bit of a celebrity in the East, except nobody knows her here, yet. So what should I do?

— Upset and Feeling Guilty, North Kildonan

Dear Upset and Guilty: This glamorous older woman is looking to build a new life in a new place — and probably with a new partner. That will not be you! She may flirt a little, but only a loser would take her daughter’s husband, and she certainly doesn’t want to be known as a that in her new town.

You think Mom has no idea she outdoes her daughter and hurts her? She has to know by now. Moving here might be good for your mother-in-law for a time, but she had to know it’d be hard on her daughter.

Take a second look at this mom. What she excels at is not motherly love and your mooning after her will certainly break your young wife’s heart.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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