Don’t stick with relationship for wrong reasons

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 03/03/2022 (1614 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I thought I had a great new boyfriend, but it turns out he’s “feeling confused” about his sexuality. Last weekend we drank too much wine and started exchanging our deepest, darkest secrets.

At first, he didn’t admit to much, but finally he let it drop he’d done some “exploring” with a guy in the months before he met me!

He said he thought I was so beautiful I’d be the cure for his “confusion,” but now he’s wondering about himself again. He begged me not to break up with him, and said he loved me.

Nobody has ever said “I love you” before to me, especially not my parents. I want to hang onto that feeling — having somebody actually love me.

Still, I feel really insecure having a boyfriend who might only be seeing me as the one who “saves” him from being gay. We’re both 19. Should I stay or go?

— Caught in a Trap, Downtown

Dear Caught: This boyfriend is not likely going to be the last man to tell you he loves you.

Most modern men and women don’t have a problem saying the word “love” like their parents did. That hesitation belonged to another era.

This boyfriend said “I love you,” but from a desperate situation. Seeing as you’ve only been together for a little while, he probably meant “I need you.”

Since you’re feeling twinges it may be time to leave this relationship, be aware that a man who wants you for your personality — not because he needs proof of being straight — is the kind who will stay.

What this guy confessed when you were drinking was the truth he’d been trying to hide from himself as well as you. Now, both of you need to be free, to find what you really want in a partner, and not cling to each other for the wrong reasons.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife is a hypochondriac. In her brain, she’s had every COVID symptom there is, but the tests always come back negative!

She uses any excuse in the book to get out of things she doesn’t like, for instance going back to work “in house,” like her boss wants her to. I bet she gets fired in the coming months for refusing to come back in on any trumped-up medical excuse.

She can’t possibly make love anymore because she’s always so sick, feels a bad flu coming on or has a scary temperature! I ask her to show me the thermometer readings, but she never will.

The upshot is I feel she’s crowded me out, and I’ve been replaced with her fake diseases. She’s already taken over the guest bedroom. Is it wrong to leave a “sick” woman?

— Symptom Stress, St. Norbert

Dear Symptom Stress: It’s highly likely she will perk right up when you’re no longer there to listen to her complaining and wait on her. Don’t worry. She’ll soon find a friend to replace you.

As for what people will think of you for leaving, your friends will say “it’s about time“ if they’ve been listening and shaking their heads.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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