Provocative blasts from the past out of line

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This article was published 27/04/2022 (1596 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Two weeks ago, I received a call from my husband’s first wife. I’m his third marriage. Until her call, we’d been blissfully happy — still in the honeymoon stage. His ex was drunk and crying and wanted to explain to me why he left her.

I told her I wasn’t interested. She called me some dirty names. I hung up in her ear. I didn’t tell my husband, because she’s old news and she was just trying to get him to talk to her, even if it was a scolding. That’s how she operates. She did it with his second wife, too.

This morning she called me again! I told her off, and she hung up in my ear. My husband called her right back and they argued for close to half an hour. She got what she wanted — his attention and emotional response. Everybody knows her constant harassment was part of the reason his second wife broke up with him. This has got to stop, fast! Why does he even talk to her? What now?

— Under Siege, Transcona

Dear Siege: You two need to form a united front — blocking this ex on all phone and digital platforms. Also, see a lawyer together and find out exactly what has to be done, to stop this harassment ASAP. If your husband won’t go, just go on your own. She may have met her match in you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve started seeing someone who’s beautiful in many ways, but she’s making a lot more money than I will ever make. It shouldn’t bother me, but it does. I find myself making little jibes and I want to bite my tongue, but it’s already too late.

Last night she told me we probably wouldn’t make it as a couple because I have “a complex” about the difference in our incomes. I don’t have a complex! It’s just a fact I recognize. She’d make a great wife and mother.

She’s pulling in six figures already. I’m lucky if I make half that in a year, and I’m the man. She said money shouldn’t matter. What do you think?

— Practical Man, Sage Creek

Dear Practical: A difference in income is a problem if it bothers one of the people in the relationship. That would be you.

Too bad you feel the way you do. Things often even up. Because women carry the babies, they often lose half or all of their income for a time when the children are small. If their original income was high enough, it doesn’t hurt the family so much.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Our two sons are both in junior high together and normally they are always up to something — a couple of practical jokers. Unfortunately, they both developed a crush on the same girl, their sister has reported. The trouble is, the girl only likes the older brother.

Now the jokes and smart remarks from the younger brother have gotten kind of mean and a bit crude, and their friendship is not in good shape. Is there anything a parent can do?

— Mom Feeling Helpless, southern Manitoba

Dear Feeling Helpless: Start talking to the boys more, and separately. Ask them to help you go shopping or to help you build something. Also clue your husband in to the situation, and tell him the youngest is needing to do more with his Dad now.

As for the mean cracks the youngest is making, advise him that his first girlfriend will be coming along one day soon. Ask him how he’d feel if his older brother paid him back with similar behaviour.

Also talk to the oldest about how his younger brother — who was always his best friend before — is missing time with him. Suggest some fun things they could do together now spring is breaking, and let him know you or Dad will be happy to drive them.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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