Get explanation for overheard ‘gut punch’

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This article was published 18/06/2022 (1564 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife of three years is younger and beyond cute. Now that we’re back out in bars for entertainment a few nights a week (I’m a musician), she comes with me. I’m up there on stage and she’s on the dance floor shaking her booty in a very suggestive way, like a single lady.

She had a single girlfriend over the other night and they were on the back patio drinking wine while I was in the shower with the window open.

I distinctly heard her say to her girlfriend, “I love him, but I don’t love being married! I did it too soon.” It was like getting punched in the gut.

Apparently, she wishes she could make up for the two fun years lost to the pandemic — and to being married to me.

Now what? I’m not into an open marriage, but she’s having serious regrets, it seems. Or is she just putting on a show?

— Upset Husband, Winnipeg

Dear Upset: By talking as she did to this friend, she was dishonouring her bond of trust with you. It’s time to tell her exactly what you overheard, and ask her how serious she was about what she said. Perhaps she was just grandstanding for her single girlfriend.

It’s important to know if your mate is as married as you are, before she acts on her discontent. Let her know you love her deeply, but that she just has to say the word and she can get her “freedom” back. If she really loves you, that will shake her up.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I recently started living with a woman, for the first time. I have to say it’s been an eye-opener. I found out she doesn’t wash her bras — basically ever. This seems really unhygienic to me.

She’s a chesty woman and says her bras are expensive — she pays up to $150 — so she doesn’t want to wreck them in the washing machine.

I can understand skipping the dryer, and just hang-drying, but certainly bacteria and other things build up if bras are never washed, don’t they? Her bras don’t look dirty, and they pretty much smell of ladies’ underarm deodorant.

She claims I’m ignorant because I’m a man, but I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to wash your underwear — bras included — at least sometimes.

— Bacterial Concerns, Winnipeg

Dear Bacterial Concerns: Women who buy expensive lingerie generally hand-wash their “delicates,” including bras, and hang them to dry.

There are special liquid soaps created for the purpose of preserving bras that will not hurt fabrics. They’re generally not cheap, so you might want to gift her with a few different kinds, and a loving request she test them out.

If that doesn’t work, tell her straight how you feel. Ask how she’d feel if you stopped washing your undershirts!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m in my 50s and I’ve been a widower for three years. My female friend’s husband died a year ago, and I’ve been waiting a decent amount of time before asking her out.

I don’t know if she’s interested in me beyond friendship, but I get that feeling sometimes, the way she looks at me with those big brown eyes, and finds excuses to touch my arm.

Maybe she’s just lonely, but maybe she really wants me, too, like I want her. Her man was sick a long time before he died. Is a year a long enough time?

— Tired of Waiting, Fort Richmond

Dear Tired of Waiting: If you add the time her husband was ill to the time since he died, it’s a long enough period.

Throw some very broad hints at her, and if she says, “Are you flirting with me?” then smile, and say, “Yes!”

If she wasn’t ready for some closeness, she probably wouldn’t be putting her hands on you at all, unless she’s a very touchy-feely person and touches everybody casually.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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