You deserve details of nephew’s dilemma

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This article was published 19/07/2022 (1537 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My nephew is coming to Winnipeg for work, and my brother has asked me if I could house him until he gets settled. Of course, no question! I would love to have my nephew live with me. However, now I’m hearing from a family member that he’s been getting into trouble with a bad group of friends and this is why my brother is sending him to Winnipeg.

I want to help my brother and nephew out, but I don’t want any problems. I called my brother and asked him what was going on, and for the real reason my nephew is coming. He calmly said, “for work and a clean start.” Should I let him know what I was told, or just let it be?

— Worried Auntie, St. James

Dear Auntie: Insist on further information — on what kind of trouble your nephew was into, with whom he was associating, and whether any of that crowd now lives in Winnipeg.

Depending on what kind of trouble it was, you may not want to get involved. It is irresponsible for your brother to try to keep this a secret. Tell him you have changed your mind, and are reserving your decision on whether you’ll have your nephew at your home until you get the whole story.

Also, insist on speaking to your nephew about everything beforehand, and what he intends to do when he gets to the city, as well as what he’d be expected to do as a member of your household.

Also, what does “stay with you until he gets settled” mean? Until he gets work, or does he have work already? Until he gets a friend to live with him as a roommate? Until he gets enough money saved? If he stays with you, tell him the house rules regarding helping you out, drinking and drugs.

Be sure to ask your brother about covering your new expenses with his son. He may have no plans to do that unless you require it. This is a big decision, and you need much more information.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m madly in love with my boyfriend of three months. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Unfortunately, he has long-haired dogs he treats like his children.

Problem! I have allergies and have been heavily medicating myself just to be around him, and it’s becoming more difficult. The medication I take makes me sleepy. He recently told me his last girlfriend didn’t like dogs, so he dumped her.

I really love him and he says he has never loved anyone as much as he loves me. I cannot keep this up much longer, but I don’t want to lose him. What can I do?

— Trying to Hide my Allergy, North Kildonan

Dear Trying: You can’t keep medicating yourself and walking around like a zombie — albeit a zombie in love. You don’t have a clear head for your job or school, you should not be driving any vehicle, and the side effects are not good for you, long-term. Since you already know this guy will give up a sweetheart rather than get rid of the dogs he loves, you may have to give him up. Then, start looking for a guy who’s much like this guy but doesn’t have or want dogs, to be fully happy.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a weird problem. I find visually gloomy days make me feel sad and depressed. I don’t know why. I don’t think I need a shrink, but I need something as it’s so predictable with me that my close friends and associates have picked up on it. Please help, if you have some ideas.

— Weather-affected, Winnipeg

Dear Weather-affected: I once knew a guy who dubbed grey days “silver days.” His attitude caught on with his crowd and everybody started calling them that. That positive attitude has stuck with some people to this day.

Another way to elevate your mood on a cloudy day is to wear pink or yellow-tinted sunglasses. Green and blue ones are not helpful, and dark grey ones are a big drag!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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