Body-shaming loser should consider brain implant

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This article was published 09/09/2022 (1443 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My boyfriend of more than one year recently admitted he didn’t like the way my breasts look — “small and kind of pointy.” He said it was no problem, because I could have breast-augmentation surgery — and he’d foot the bill. How generous to give himself such a gift!

I’m heartbroken and embarrassed. I haven’t talked to him for two days, and think I might break up with him. Can a relationship recover from something like this? I know not everyone loves every inch of their partner, but I didn’t want to hear that information from him.

— Not Big Enough, Crescentwood

Dear Not Big Enough: This man has some clearly deficient body parts of his own — his heart and his brain. March your perky little body out of that relationship and find someone who’s all there. You can’t fix a person with the problems he has, so don’t even consider “talking it out” or going for counselling.

People who insult their lovers’ bodies, often kiss the best days of those sexual relationships goodbye. Partners don’t feel confident around them anymore — clothes on or off. The critic’s defence is that they just said something “honest” to shock their sweetheart into making an improvement. What they’ve done instead is amputate the spontaneity from the relationship.

Most loving partners look and feel beautiful in candlelight or coloured light, no matter the sizes of their bodies and their various parts. Adding to the ambiance of the bedroom’s lighting is a subtle move anyone can make — no explanations, as it just adds to the romance.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Further to the letter about the young man’s girlfriend who loves everything about flying, your suggestion to visit the Royal Aviation Museum of Western Canada with her is a good one. It’s a beautiful museum and there have already been thousands of visitors.

This young woman could also volunteer there, as they’re looking for more. Many pilots — present and past — come through and she’d hear lots of flying stories. She might love it, and she’d be surrounded by planes and have a chance to learn all about them.

— A Happy Volunteer, Winnipeg

Dear Happy: It’s great to find a volunteer opportunity that makes you smile! RAMWC’s info says their volunteer gang includes bush pilots, professional airplane mechanics, engineers, former Royal Canadian Air Force personnel, retired teachers and “people who share a passion for exploring, preserving and sharing aviation history.” More volunteer info can be found at royalaviaionmuseum.com.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have six close girlfriends in their late 30s and early 40s. Two of them are still stuck in their houses and can’t seem to adjust to the new COVID freedom in bars and restaurants. They still work from home and just visit on the phone and online.

Their favourite retort when I invite them once again to join me for lunch somewhere is “COVID is not over yet, you know!” I argue that it’s much less deadly, and they point to the most recent numbers of deaths. They’re always right on top of that! Is it time to stop trying with those two worrywarts?

— Getting Fed Up, St. Boniface

Dear Fed Up: Don’t write your friends off, but do stop trying to pull them out of their cocoons. They are feeling safe and happy enough. Repeating the same old argument is a waste of your time. So say this: “I’m going to stop bugging you about coming out of the house with me, but when you’re ready, please put me at the top of your list for lunch.”

Then continue calling for friendly visits, but stop worrying about changing anything. That’s a strain you don’t need, and your friends also feel the pressure coming from you.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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