Enlist sartorial support to spiff up your wardrobe

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 31/10/2022 (1069 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I can’t find a decent girlfriend — or an indecent one, for that matter! I know, stupid joke. My problem is my looks. I’m not really obese, but I’ve always been a little on the pudgy side. I’m 18 now.

I’m not a great dresser — jeans, T-shirts and big jackets are all I wear. I’m going to university and I just got a part-time job. I’m still living at home. In two paycheques I’ll be able to buy some clothes, but I have no taste, or so I’m told. If I go to a store by myself, I’m hopeless. Please advise!

— Bad Dresser, St. James

Dear Bad Dresser: You definitely need a shopping guide. Who, in your younger circle of family and friends — male or female — is the best dresser? Even a female cousin or two could take you out, and help you buy some basic “anchor pieces” (fashion talk) to help you build a new wardrobe.

Hot tip: Lots of younger people wear darker clothes closer to the body (T-shirt and jeans) to make for a slimmer-seeming outline, and then add more colourful shirts and jackets over top. Plus, putting out bit of cash for a great haircut can also really change your whole look. Good luck!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Now that our kids are teenagers, my husband and I like to check into to a hotel on Halloween, have an exotic dinner sent up, drink cocktails and dress up in themed costumes for our adult enjoyment.

My oldest two kids know we’re going to a hotel again, and have a basic understanding of our motivation. They’re cool with this! But our youngest one, 13, has just found out what’s going on from her big-mouth sister. She thinks it’s “embarrassing and disgusting.” Her dad and I are still going, though!

She’s going off to Grandma’s in a self-righteous huff for the night. “Why can’t I have parents who actually grew up?” she yelled at us yesterday.

The irony of the situation? If that kid knew how to count, she’d realize she was born almost exactly nine months after Halloween. We almost called her Tabitha — after the little witch daughter on TV show Bewitched. Good thing we didn’t, as it turns out, or she’d need major therapy this year! How can we get our daughter to lighten up and enjoy the fun and creativity of Halloween?

— Her Disgusting Parents, Tuxedo

Dear Disgusting Parents: The age of 13 is a rebellious one for many kids, so it can be a hard time to try to get them to appreciate anything their parents are up to — particularly when it’s about dress-up nonsense at a hotel. Yuck! You’re making your daughter’s eyes roll.

So, let her go hang out with grandma, answer the door to trick-or-treaters, eat way too much candy and fall into bed with a belly ache, just like her younger days on Halloween.

But seriously, the less said about your evening at the hotel, the better. If she asks for info, it’s a trap; she looking for a reason to sneer. Change the subject ASAP! Things will change with her in the next few years and she’ll be glad to get you out of the house for a night on any excuse!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I wish I could roll back the clock to a week ago before I found this out: I’m definitely pregnant, again!

My husband didn’t want any more kids, but I definitely did not want to go back on the birth-control pill. I promised him I’d take care of the birth control other ways, and I did, for a while. But then, the inevitable happened; we got carried away and now I’m pregnant.

I don’t believe in abortion and neither does my guy. I know I have to tell my husband, but when? Should I hide it for as long as I can?

— In a Bind, West End

Dear Bind: Don’t wait for too long before telling the truth. Lies can take on a nasty life of their own. The positive side, once you confess, is that you won’t have to pretend to use birth control for the duration of the pregnancy. Also, your man may finally want to step up to the plate and have a vasectomy to take sure there won’t be more “whoopsies.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.