Sample the full light spectrum to chase winter blues

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This article was published 18/11/2022 (1370 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I get so depressed when the snow and cold comes every year. I feel depressed for months. I just don’t want to be at home under a SAD (seasonal affective disorder) light twice a day, feeling like there’s something weirdly wrong with me.

I must admit Christmas lights can pull me out of it, for two weeks anyway. But, every November I’m deep in the dumps, feeling low from early dusk to late dawn. Sometimes it’s kind of dark on the bus ride, both to and from home from work. Please help!

— Tragically Deprived of Natural Sunlight, South Osborne

Dear Tragically Deprived: Take control. Creating more light is the key, and you can do it. Start your own indoor season-shifting lighting adventure. There’s no rule that says you can’t decorate your place with lights before Halloween, and change up the colour themes every month. Try it and leave them up until April 1! Your friends will get a kick out of it, and you will feel like inviting them over more to see what’s new.

Every fall, start with strings of warm white and yellow lights, change to orange for Halloween and segue into Christmas season with red, green and white. Then it’s on to crazy New Year’s Eve disco lighting, and maybe a retro ’70s dance party.

Follow that up with pink/red Valentine’s Day lights, and softer pastel-like colours and effects for early spring. By April you’ll have had a lighted home universe for six months, and then the natural sunlight will be back again.

If you can afford it, a sunspot vacation will elevate your mood while you’re there for a week or two, plus it will jack you up for the week before and the one after.

However, if your seasonal depression deepens and is feeling out of control — crying spells, missing work, hiding in bed, not wanting to see friends — see your physician ASAP. They may need to prescribe a course of medication to help you. There’s no need for unnecessary hardship every winter!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have never had sex with a man or woman, and I’m in my late 20s. I have a female friend who wants me to try having sex with her. She wants to show me how good it can be with another woman — like herself.

I think she has a very attractive face. Her body is way out of shape though, so I just don’t know how physically attracted I’ll feel. I only feel attracted to young, in-shape athletes, and male movie stars. I’m an athlete and in excellent shape.

She wants to start with a bubble bath and a massage. What’s wrong with that, I guess? Will this be OK as a first experiment for me, or be a big mistake? She thinks we should drink champagne to loosen things up. I do love champagne.

What do you think? I don’t even know if I’m bisexual or what. I used to like a boy in high school. But now, 12 years have passed and I’m a 29-Year-Old virgin.

— Aging Virgin, Osborne Village

Dear Virgin: Don’t promise too much, right off the hop. Maybe agree to one glass of champagne and a massage with your clothes on, and see how that goes. If you find you don’t like your friend touching you, then you’ve avoided a much bigger scene later — stark naked in a bathtub.

There’s a good chance you may not be attracted to women beyond friendship, so keep the experimentation light. Also, if you need to drink a lot of alcohol to have sex with someone, then the natural attraction certainly was not there in the first place.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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