A simple, personal V-Day gift is worth a lot

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This article was published 14/02/2023 (1330 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR READERS: Happy Valentine’s Day! It’s that special day when people of all ages celebrate feelings for each other, ranging from warm, fuzzy and friendly, to sizzling-hot and erotic.

In modern times, people celebrate in many different ways — with Valentine cards, poems, serenades, trinkets, diamonds, restaurant invitations, favourite food take-outs, marshmallows over bonfires, fancy drinks or fireworks. Also, long-distance lovers can now share intimate visuals whether by smartphone or video-chats via computer.

Unfortunately, not everybody is ecstatic on this emotional day! Here are a few of my letters from worried Valentines.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Is Valentine’s Day really so important? I forgot it was coming again. I’m a mechanic and a metal artist. I do have a few small ones I’ve made, but they’re not a special store-bought gift. Other than that, I have about $15-20 to spend, unfortunately. My girlfriend let it slip last night she bought me something “really good.”

Should I get her a card that says I’m waiting until I have more money to buy her a great gift? Then I could see what she gets me first!

— On Shaky Ground, downtown Winnipeg

Dear Shaky Ground: Your girlfriend needs something in hand, other than an excuse, for this Valentine’s Day gift exchange. A chocolate heart and a tiny metal sculpture, along with words on a card about about how wonderful she is would be much better than giving her and IOU. As an artist, you can probably wrap it beautifully for her as well. Dollar stores stock all kinds of inexpensive Valentine cards, wrapping paper and glittery ribbon and accessories to decorate a gift. That will make it feel even more special to her.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I used to love Valentine’s Day because I always got a phone call from an old boyfriend of mine who lives in another country now, for his work. He used to say we weren’t cheating on our live-in mates, because we talked to each other only once a year and never even saw each other’s faces.

My live-in guy would put up with these short phone calls, claiming he also phones his ex on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t believe him.

Well, this year is different. I’m feeling guilty because my long-distance ex and I have been secretly talking (virtually) face-to-face by computer almost every day. He and his live-in over there split up after Christmas and he wants me back! He asked me to come and visit him, and said he’ll send me the ticket for my birthday in April.

Is it time to confess and split up with my guy here? Or, is my overseas man just a pipe dream who may just be blowing smoke?

— Torn Between Two, south Winnipeg

Dear Torn: It’s unfortunate timing to break up with somebody right after Valentine’s Day, but in this case, you really need to set your live-in boyfriend free ASAP. You’re flirting seriously online and considering flying to see this other man.

It’s time to end your present living arrangement, and start living honestly. It doesn’t matter if the overseas trip doesn’t actually happen. By the way, if you want love and consideration, you have to show a partner you are the kind of person who gives it back. Think about what you’ve been demonstrating to the guy overseas — he’s free and single now, but you are not. He may not feel like he has to be so careful with your heart.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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