Another round with ex means same old hangover

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I spotted my alcoholic old love buying liquor a week ago, and was so disappointed I just couldn’t approach her. I know she saw me, but we broke up over her being a big lush. Our eyes met for a few seconds — a look that said a thousand words.

I put my liquor back on the shelf and literally ran out to the car. I was hearing the bitter words of our break-up scene in my head, and I cried on the steering wheel. We were perfectly matched in every other way.

Later that night she called me three times — but I didn’t answer.

I knew she’d be drunk. What is there to say when nothing has changed except, “Goodbye again, my love?” What can I do to get over her? I thought I was finished, but now I know I wasn’t and maybe I never will be.

— Hurting All Over Again, Elmwood

Dear Hurting Again: There are special boxes in our minds for “never-again loves.” We have to keep the lids on them down and locked because there really is no cure for the problems they bring. Had you run into this woman in a store where there were no liquor bottles, and she was obviously sober, you might have believed any stories she told you about quitting — and ended up in another sorry mess.

You need a new woman with many of your ex’s good qualities, not the bad ones. Identify those qualities and put them on a little list in your phone or wallet so you see the reasons again to love someone special.

It’s amazing how that kind of list can inspire your mind and guide you when you’re on a search for new love.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I found out my younger sister has been contacting my boyfriend, even sending him jokes that are often sexual. How do I know? He squealed on her to me last night when we were out on a movie date, and showed me some of her dirty jokes on his phone.

I was shocked! He just laughed.

My sister is 14 and jealous of me, and wants everything I have, only more of it and better. She is totally after my guy! I told my mom and she said of her innocent baby girl: “It’s harmless flirting from your little sister, so big deal.”

Big deal? My little sister is built like a bikini model — “37-24-34” or so she tells me. She flaunts that body whenever my guy comes over. He’s 18. Mom doesn’t even notice, I told our useless dad and he kind of chuckled, and said, “Yep, trouble may be brewing!” and kept on watching hockey. Does nobody care? My sister could get knocked up by some guy she hardly knows, at the rate she’s going. What can I do, since the adults in this family obviously don’t care?

— Only One Awake, River Heights

Dear Awake: Has your younger sister started dating? Or, is it all really just talk so far, and flaunting herself in front of your boyfriend?

For now, you can precipitate the most change by talking to your younger sister like she counts, and you care.

So, take a deep breath. Let her know what’s really going on with the kids you know at your age, and what troubles they face. Even talk to her about pregnancy and different forms of protection.

Resources sympathetic to young people like you and your sister include the Women’s Health Clinic (womenshealthclinic.org). It’s a great place to get accurate information, contraceptive comparisons and treatment.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.