Do you really want to have skin in his game?

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: It’s weird to see a tattoo of a previous sweetheart’s name on your new man’s arm. It’s a small tattoo, but it’s there for everybody to see, especially in spring and summer.

I think he should get it removed now that I’m in the picture.

But he just says, “That’s my first love and that tattoo of her has survived three girlfriends since. So no, I won’t be getting rid of her.”

He did offer to put me on his body if I’m good to him and we last a year or more. What do you think?

— Not Impressed, St. Boniface

Dear Not Impressed: Some other woman who collects tattoos of her boyfriends on her own skin might be fine with this deal, but you’re already feeling turned off by this new guy and the old girlfriend always around on his body.

It’s highly likely you’re not going to last a year with this guy, so don’t waste any more time.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: After we had all our children, pretty much all my husband did was work overtime, sleep and snore with his mouth open. We barely had a love life — maybe the odd Sunday morning or on long weekends.

I missed the sex, but he didn’t seem to. I never asked why. I guess I was old news by then, but I didn’t leave him because basically he’s a good-hearted guy.

But my daughters, who are now in their early 20s, recently told me they were not surprised how cold we were, affection-wise. I was shocked they had picked up on it.

I went out for cocktails with my girls the other night, and we all had a little too much to drink. Then my older daughter nailed me with a look and asked why I stayed with their father.

Then she had another big gulp of her drink and had the nerve to ask me, “Does any guy at your office ever chase you?” I refused to answer. She just gave me her wise-ass look.

My question is how much should you tell your kids, who are young adults, about your life as a married adult? I tell them the absolute minimum about our marriage, but it doesn’t seem to satisfy them anymore.

— Very Annoyed Mom, Westwood

Dear Annoyed: You don’t need to explain why you stay with their dad. Just say “I love him, and that’s why I stay.” They will actually like that response.

Certainly don’t complain about the busy years of child-raising and make your daughters feel guilty for your lack of a love life. Guilting them won’t do any good, and you don’t want them to boomerang back at you with even nosier questions.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend and I are not getting along and she keeps flying off out west — twice in the last month, for instance. I know she went to school there, and knows a lot of people I’ve never met.

I have a hard time getting her to answer her phone when she’s there, and she always says she’s on another call or in a restaurant and can’t talk. How do I get the truth out of her?

— Playing Me For Trusting Fool, Osborne Village

Dear Fool: If you had any other fish on the line, would you be chasing after this girlfriend you don’t trust? Not likely. Since it really feels like this woman is checking out other options elsewhere and you’re hurting, it’s time to “cut bait,” my friend.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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