Only a mundane marriage if you make it so

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m feeling lonely in my fairly new marriage. It’s not that we don’t see each other enough, it’s that we seem to have nothing to say to one another, now that we’re into the second year. We’ve discussed everything and know each other’s opinions on everything. Yawn! I think we know each other too well now.

— Bored Bride, Downtown

Dear Bored Bride: Would this be a problem with a friend or sibling, if you were doing something exciting together, like travelling? Nope! You’d be looking ahead to the next day of the adventure, new experiences and discussing them with each other, during and afterwards.

Instead of turning inward and being critical of your mate, it’s time to join hands and face outwards. Find new ways to go adventuring together and discussing the new things you see and do.

Even jumping in the car for an evening drive to somewhere new can be fun and inspire new conversation.

Instead of staring at each other and thinking “You’re getting boring!” you need to pick up your cameras and gear and take on exciting new escapades together.

Learning a new sport or exploring new fitness options, going on nature hikes or getting involved in artistic or creative endeavours can be rejuvenating for couples, and even for friends who may also feel things becoming ho-hum. So stop thinking of your sweetheart as the person who has to keep you entertained, and look outwards together for unique things to do.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My sister already got herself a job at a summer camp this year and my brother will be working at his best buddy’s dad’s store. I have no summer employment lined up yet and I’m kind of shy and nervous, so it’s harder to get a job. I know that from last year’s experience.

Our dad is away on business trips all the time and mom will be leaning on me to be her company at home, playing endless card and board games while she smokes her face off! The only OK thing is helping her with our home garden.

Do you have any ideas for me to break out of this?

— Jobless, St. James

Dear Jobless: Since you have experience gardening, you might find you could line up some paid weeding or yard work through people your family knows.

With your more reserved nature, this could be a solid, less-intimidating option.

If you get a couple of neighbourhood clients, you could make cards or use social media to advertise your services to others.

Plus, if clients like your work, good references go a long way to getting more business.

Good luck, and hopefully a new venture like this can help keep you busy and active until summer’s end!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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