Feline friend could be sibling stopgap

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This article was published 19/12/2021 (1413 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My daughter has been asking for a baby sister for Christmas. My husband and I thought it was funny — at first. But, she is a determined little girl and mentions it to God in her prayers every night.

I told her last night Daddy and Mommy couldn’t make another baby just now, and she cried. I suggested she ask Santa for a baby doll instead, and she cried harder.

A friend has offered us a female kitten from their menagerie of felines outside the city. Some were born in the fall. My husband and I like cats, but our little girl is no dummy, and she didn’t like the substitute doll idea. What do you think?

— Worried Momma, West End

Dear Momma: This little pet could do the trick. A kitten is a warm, living being — a much better substitute than an inert doll. Your daughter can pet and cuddle a baby cat, play with her, feed her and give her a girlie name. (Note: Go along with her choice of name, no matter how goofy!) Kittens vary in personality so you will need to give her an affectionate and friendly kitten, not one who’s shy and hides from your little one.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My best friend’s wife is “after me.” She started calling me at work on any excuse, asking me to help her with a building project she’s doing in her house.

My buddy pays little attention to her and calls her a flake to her face. She is kind of a flake, although she’s not stupid. She leaves flirty messages with double meanings on my work phone and then says, “Don’t pay any attention to me, haha! I’m just in a crazy mood today.”

I’ve told her to stop flirting with trouble but she doesn’t pay any attention. She also drinks during the day.

How do I get rid of her without losing my best buddy since childhood? I can’t tell him to tell her to lay off. I don’t know how to tell her to leave me the heck alone. Her husband is the brother I never had.

— Nervous Single Guy, Fort Garry

Dear Nervous: Tell your buddy’s wife that if she doesn’t lay off the flirting you’re going to have to tell her husband to tell her to stop. She may listen, but because of the drinking, she may just push that out of her mind.

You can be sure your buddy will have it out with her if you clue him in. He may ask you why it took you took so long to get her to stop. You can say: “I’ve tried repeatedly, but she keeps calling when she’s been drinking.”

You might suggest you only see him at your place now, or out somewhere. He will be hurt and may take offence, but you just can’t afford to go over to that couple’s house anymore.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My sweet new lady friend, who has a great career and can buy anything she wants, has requested something very different from me for Christmas. She wants something “handmade and personal.”

I’m the artistic type — writer, photographer, cook — and the opposite of her ex-husband. He’s a hotshot businessman. When he got caught cheating on her (more than once), he used to try to buy her off with big gifts, like expensive jewelry and trips.

I’m the true-blue, quiet-guy type, and very much in love with her. She’s scared, but is starting to say she loves me, too. So what do I do? I’m so confused, I haven’t made any decision and time is running out. We don’t live together yet. Please help me!

— Need Unique Suggestions Fast, Westwood

Dear Suggestions: First, create a Christmas photo shoot “set” for her at your place. Ask her to dress up for the session and bring indoor and outdoor outfits. Shoot inside first, and then take her outdoors for shots in the snow. Put the best photos of her in single frames and others in a photo grouping frame to hang up. Also, hold a camera phone up at the end of the shoot and take some fun photos of the two of you, to give separately.

Written words can also be a cherished keepsake. So, make a list of the qualities you love in her, and write a poem about them. Not a poet? You can buy fancy pens in gold or silver and just write her qualities all over a coloured or black background of paper or wood, and frame it.

Put all these things in boxes with fancy paper and bows, and present them with a special breakfast or brunch on Christmas morning. These gifts will be personal, and will touch her and make memories. She will value the fact you really listened to her, and went to all that trouble to grant her special wish.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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