Ask yourself how comfortable you are with rich boyfriend
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Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 20/10/2015 (4002 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a wealthy man, and frankly, I don’t know if it’s him I’m so crazy about or the money. I have always been a woman who lived simply because I was a single mom. This guy takes me to all the best restaurants, buys me gifts and treats me to manicures and pedicures. I really, really like this man but it’s too soon to know if I love him. He has nothing to gain by taking me on, except me, and he says he loves me. Although he’s moving too fast for me, I might fall in love with him in a little time, but it’s complicated by the wealth and the gifts he’s lavishing on me. What should I do? Am I becoming a gold-digger?
— Mixed Up, River Heights
Dear Mixed Up: Here’s something to know about generous wealthy people: $100 feels like nothing. Five hundred dollars feels like $50. If he had the same kind of income you do, and was suffering in some way by spending his money on you, that would carry more emotional expectations from him. This wealthy man may be bored of his money, or using it to dazzle you, which feeds his ego. He may even be using it to buy your affection if he isn’t confident in his personality. You don’t owe him anything but your natural self, and your honesty. There are some people who really don’t like anything above a simple lifestyle and feel uncomfortable around people with a lot of money. Is this part of the problem? Think about this seriously.
Telling him to stop spending money on you wouldn’t improve things in the long run. If you end up married to him he may continue not to share his wealth with you if you have criticized him for it.
If you know you’ll never want anything permanent with this man and your feelings could never grow to that point, then it’s your duty to tell him. Until then, enjoy what he’s offering without making him feel self-conscious about treating you.
Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6
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