You don’t have to marry pregnant girlfriend

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Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m sick to my stomach because my girlfriend told me that “we are pregnant.” I made the mistake of saying, “Well you might be pregnant, but I’m not!” Then she told me her father and brothers wouldn’t put up with a man who doesn’t stand by his woman in a case like this. She is the baby of a family full of tough brothers, and they have always protected her like she’s a half-grown baby.

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Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 06/11/2015 (3986 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m sick to my stomach because my girlfriend told me that “we are pregnant.” I made the mistake of saying, “Well you might be pregnant, but I’m not!” Then she told me her father and brothers wouldn’t put up with a man who doesn’t stand by his woman in a case like this. She is the baby of a family full of tough brothers, and they have always protected her like she’s a half-grown baby.

I’m also the youngest of my family, and my family has always made allowances for me and my wild ways. She told me flirtatiously she “wouldn’t mind” having my baby before we even had sex, and I joked right back with her: “It’d be a cute little s.o.b.” The upshot of it was both of us had too much to drink at a social that night, and I got busy ringing her bell all night long.

She didn’t seem to care I had no condoms, so I figured she must be on the pill. She wasn’t. I realized right after she said she was pregnant I don’t want to be married to her, and don’t want to be part of her uneducated farmer family. I also don’t want to get beaten to a pulp! If I took off, I could never come back, and Winnipeg is my home where all my buddies and my family live. Our big family business is also here and has always been my fallback position between jobs.

She’s Catholic and doesn’t want to hear about an abortion. “That’s a crime against God and we’d both burn in hell,” she said to my shocked face. I didn’t even know she went to church. She said she’s already told her mother about the pregnancy. Do I have to marry her?

— Worried Sick, Winnipeg

 

Dear Worried: No, you don’t have to marry a woman because you got her pregnant, but you do have to pay monthly child support. If you don’t pay it voluntarily, the courts will force you to pay. You should also be a loving and present daddy to the child you helped create, and help that young person get training and/or an education so they get a job. The child needs to be loved by you, feel secure and taught things all along the way.

As for whether this girl you trusted was likely to be on pill, oh please. You don’t even know if a woman’s on the pill if she swears up and down she is. Good quality condoms are necessary 100 per cent of the time as a barrier to protect against pregnancy or sexually-transmitted infections. Nothing works 100 per cent of the time, so you should use two methods together regularly to prevent making babies and getting a disease. You just blundered in, without a thought in your head except the night’s fun and games. See your lawyer and police if you are threatened with assault.

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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