Daughter’s wedding could be a disaster

By: MIss Lonelyhearts Posted: 2:00 AM CST Sunday, Nov. 22, 2015

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I got involved with a sexy, smart-mouthed girl when I was in my late teens, she got pregnant and we got married. I loved her, but she was always getting into fights with everybody. Pretty soon we were on the outs with my family and part of hers, and my friends didn’t want to be around us as we constantly bickered and fought. I was emotionally unable to leave the two kids we had, and stayed until my wife left me for another guy.

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Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 22/11/2015 (3967 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Now, my oldest girl is getting married in a formal wedding and doesn’t want anybody to walk her down the aisle. Who can blame her for not wanting the mother who verbally abused her and the father who lived across town to give her away. Her mother doesn’t want me at the wedding at all, but my daughter has insisted, although I can’t bring my wife, as my first wife will call her out in front of the whole wedding. I know how wicked her mouth can be.

I feel sad my daughter is planning to walk down the aisle all alone, but don’t know what to do or say about it.

— Dad In the Back Row, Winnipeg

Dear Dad in the Back Row: It is your daughter’s day and she’s trying to keep you and her mother apart as much as possible. She probably has a nightmare vision of you and her walking down the aisle, and her mother trash-talking at the front of the church. Accept your daughter’s hard-won solution to have no one walk her down the aisle and swallow your own feelings of disappointment.

What you could do to show your love is gift your daughter with some money privately right now, in the wedding planning stages, to make the wedding and honeymoon easier. “I’m just happy to see you at your wedding,” should be your line.

And don’t put pressure on yourself to stay a long time at the reception. Your daughter will understand if you explain it to her nicely. Perhaps you might want to quietly leave during the picture-taking gap. Just talk it out with her about when you could comfortably leave and not hurt her. It might be a relief for her, if there’s no chance for her mother to approach you and rip into you. Or, she might want you there for the traditional father-daughter dance and then you can go.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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