You should have been told mom was in jail

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 22/11/2015 (3969 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My aunt came to look after us when we were little, and we didn’t know why. Our mother was said to be “in the hospital getting better.” She eventually got out of the “hospital,” but by then our aunt had turned into our mother, and we didn’t even know our biological mother, so we stayed with our aunt. This hurt my mother very much and she started drinking. We then found out that she had been in jail.

Our biological mother died years ago. I know this may not seem very grateful to my aunt, but I find myself very angry that she didn’t tell us kids the truth. Our aunt was a good person and loved us, but we were living a lie. Would it not have been better to be able to have visited our mother in jail? It seemed cruel that she couldn’t even see us and we couldn’t see her. She must have felt so lonely and abandoned.

On the surface I can understand why we weren’t told, but I don’t care what she did. Do you think a mother should be hidden away if she has gone to jail?

— Still Hurting Over This, Manitoba

Dear Still Hurting: Clearly, it was not the right thing to do. The proof is in your persistent pain and anger at a much older age. Kids in school might be coached to tell their classmates their mother is in the hospital, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be able to know their mother and visit her. If anyone has been in the situation of having a parent in jail when they were young, please write with your advice.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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