Don’t suck up for inheritance that might not exist
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Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 30/11/2015 (3959 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I love my mother-in-law, who is a new widow and got a lot of insurance money. I wish she didn’t have so much! She says she is leaving her son and me all her money when she dies. She is constantly telling us that. I feel guilty for daydreaming about what her money will do for us when she dies. Then again, what if she lives so long it’s too late to build a big family house and pool, and do what we want to do with the money?
The worst thing is now I feel like we have to suck up to her to make sure she doesn’t change that will before she dies. What if she wants to come and live with us? Yikes! We are already in her debt by being the future recipients of her fat inheritance. Anyway, how do we really know she actually has so much money? I wish she had never said anything about it. Please help! — Obsessed by Inheritance, Winnipeg
Dear Obsessed: Your husband has to have a talk with Mama to ask her why she brings up her money all the time. Then he needs to tell her it hurts him when she brings it up because it seems as if she thinks she has to buy his love, which she already has. Then he needs to ask her directly not to talk about it anymore to him or to you. That should stop the old fox in her tracks.
As for daydreaming of what your mother in law’s big bucks will do for you and your husband one day, tell yourself that it won’t make any difference to your lifestyle. The purse holder is healthy and may live forever. She may spend a lot of that money by the times she goes, too. She may not even have made a will or really know how much money she will have in the end. Don’t count on that money lasting until she dies.
Behave towards her the same way as you always did and don’t be careful about everything you say or do. That’s giving her power. Also, you and your husband should not let her start gifting you with money now or she will really feel she owns you. If she runs out of money, you will then need to support her with money you may not have.
Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6.
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