Lie about decorations nothing but a lure

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This article was published 03/12/2015 (3956 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a very friendly older man on the bus riding to work in the morning, and we bonded over the Christmas lights I had in my bags from the store. I always get on the bus the same time he does, so lately we’ve been sitting together. He tells me that he’s been buying more and more Christmas lights and “creating quite a scene” with them on his house.

Yesterday, he said he had turned them on and it was beautiful, and I should come over to see them and have a Christmas drink. I felt odd when he said that. Last night, I got my best friend to drive me past the place where he said his house is situated, on a pretty well-known corner. There wasn’t one light on the house, lit or unlit! There were no decorations on the lawn as he had said, either. I took down the address. When I asked him on the bus today what his address was, I said I thought I saw his house the night before, with no lights on it.

He paused and said, “Uhhhh, I only give my address out to people if they are coming over for sure. How about you tell me your phone number?” I suddenly knew the whole lights thing had been a ruse to keep talking with me and get me over to his house. Do you agree? The problem now is I don’t want to be on the bus with him, and that’s how I get to work.

— Freaked Out, Winnipeg

Dear Freaked Out: Yes, I agree. It’s good his elaborate lying gave you the creeps. The sudden request for your phone number meant he could see you backing off. You should never take chances with people who alert your spidey senses. Strangers who are up to no good with younger people always come on friendly and nice, and try to lure their victims to a private spot.

So avoid him totally. Take a different bus route if you can, or switch to a later time (not earlier, when it’s darker) and sit up near the front where the driver can watch and intervene. If you have no seating partner yet, pile your stuff there. If he comes and asks you to sit with him, say something like, “Can’t do that, but have a nice day.” If he still bothers you, talk to the bus driver.

If you should see him sitting on your bus when you’re coming home, get off at a stop with stores and restaurants and call friends or family to come get you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is a comment on your response to the 16-year-old Forgotten Son who is missing his estranged dad and is considering going to see him, as a birthday gift to himself. Your answer was very thoughtful, thorough and gentle. I particularly applaud the insight contained in the last paragraph, anticipating the potential for personal harm, as kids of his age are prone to depression. You do a good to excellent job.

— Appreciative Fan, Winnipeg

Dear Appreciative: Thanks for your kind letter. I hope the young guy takes my advice and doesn’t land on his father’s doorstep unannounced on his birthday. If his dad rejects him, it will be sad (possibly traumatic) experience he may remember ever after on his birthday.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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