End things with another gift she doesn’t want

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This article was published 07/12/2015 (3952 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Call me a jerk, but I’m thinking of dumping my girlfriend before Christmas so I don’t have to buy her another expensive gift. We are bumping along to the end anyway, with fights over everything. I’ve heard it’s mean to break up with a person just before Christmas, but she expects expensive jewellery. She’s hoping for a diamond ring like she asked for the last two Christmases. I gave her an expensive bracelet last year, but she didn’t really want it.

Why have I hung on yet another year? Because I’m lazy, not very good-looking and she’s really good in bed. That’s the only time she stops yammering away at me. I much prefer her moaning instead of talking. Sorry, if that sounds rude, but it’s true.

— Sick of Her, North Kildonan

Dear Sick of Her: Since you’re too lazy to break up with her and it’s already the Christmas season, give this woman yet another “stand-in” gift for the diamond ring she really wants and she may dump you! If not, break up with her a month after Christmas so it up doesn’t become a nasty memory that coincides with Christmas every year. Be strategic. Then, get your lazy bones off to the gym, get a platonic female friend to help you go shopping for nicer clothes, eyewear and a modern haircut, and get out and look for someone you really want.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I don’t know where I fit in this Christmas. I’m a new widow and my married friends seem very awkward about having an un-partnered woman over for their Christmas parties. My husband and I used to be a popular couple on the Christmas-party circuit, but now he’s gone. I’d rather be invited and possibly decide not to go, than not to be invited and feel rejected by everybody I know. I usually I have a calendar full of invitations from people to meet to have drinks or even go Christmas shopping.

One or two of the women in our social circle have invited me out for lunch, but it seems they’re careful in case I bust out with the waterworks, or something. I’m cried out at this point, although a tear will sometimes roll down my cheek if people “go there” in conversation. I can usually talk with enjoyment about my deceased husband and the fun and crazy things he did. Do I phone up the usual party hosts and tell them I’m read to socialize, or do I need all new friends because I’ve become a pariah?

— Unwelcome Widow? Winnipeg

Dear Unwelcome: You could signal you’re ready to have fun by inviting old friends from your group out to go shopping, or to come over to your house for a night of cards or Christmas-cookie baking. If there’s a dependable gossip in this group, put it out on the grapevine that you want to go out, and you’ll bring a male pal to even things up. Then bring a platonic friend. Some couples like everything done in twos, especially seatings at a dinner. Once you go to the first party, you may not want to go to more.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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