Turn any outing into a chance to meet people

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 06/01/2016 (3555 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Thank you, Maureen, for one of the best letters I’ve ever read about becoming aware of our impact when opening our hearts and welcoming others into our lives. You made me aware of the ripple effect it has and the gifts we receive in new friendships. I used to sneak away when my husband started a conversation with new or unknown neighbours, but I soon realized that interaction brought a wave hello, or a smile from both when we passed on the street — it even got our small lawn mowed. I thanked him for his help in meeting new people and I try to do it more often as the situation comes up.

That being one of his good points, we recently separated after 16 tumultuous years. In the future I may be interested (along with a few friends) in one of your “Finding Love” forums. Is there some info you could forward about this? Thank you! — Hopeful S., Winnipeg

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Dear Hopeful: Thanks for your letter. I’ll give some serious thought to doing another one this spring and let you know by email. In the meantime, now you’re single again, turn every outing into a people-meeting event by being friendly and striking up conversations in everyday places, such as the grocery store, gas station and sporting and arts events. Also, wear a conversation piece — like a hat or jewelry — that will give people an excuse to talk to you. I used to drive an antique 1968 Mustang convertible that attracted people naturally, especially in spring and fall, when it was a surprise to see it out on the road. A book you can pop out of your purse when you’re eating alone can be a great conversation-starter too, especially if it’s on a controversial subject and you’ve already read at least half of it. Time to get started!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I always end up with the same kind of woman, even though they all look different. I’m not stuck on a certain physical look, honest. As my grandfather used to say, “I love those short, tall, fat, skinny women!” Women seem to be attracted to my money, though they don’t say that. It’s the only thing I can figure, because I’m not that good-looking and yet I get female attention.

These women come on to me, and they’re always so sweet and nice. Soon I find I’m invited along on shopping trips, or putting down money for a down payment, or paying their kid’s tuition. I’m a sucker for a woman in need. And at my age, every woman I date is widowed or divorced and has financial needs.

I have a lot of money that must look good to a gold digger, but I don’t advertise my wealth. I just keep looking for a heart of gold. My deceased wife couldn’t have cared less about my finances. Of course, she married me before I made my money, so there was never any confusion there. How do I sort the gold diggers from the sincere women who don’t care about money? — Too Much Money For My Own Good, Winnipeg

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Dear Too Much: Could it be you’re attracted to the wee mousies who just need an itty-bitty loan, down payment or tuition for their kids because it makes you feel needed and confident? Unfortunately, wealthy men who think they’re not good-looking usually lead with what they believe is their strength — the money card.

Smart female gold diggers hide their mining tools and talk about everything else. If they’re good at going for the gold, they know how to pamper their rich man, shower him with compliments and great sex, and make it look as if money is the last thing they’re interested in.

Your best bet at this time is looking for a woman who has her own money. She doesn’t need you financially, so you’ll have to impress her with personality, kindness and fun. Both of you will naturally see your lawyers and pull out the prenuptial papers if you get serious. She will only ask for your heart and a fair settlement if the marriage should go awry.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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