Insulting man never should have made it to your bedroom

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This article was published 18/01/2016 (3911 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I had a man over to my home after a few dates, and he was kind of sarcastic through dinner and made a few comments about how my house could do with some fixing. Later, after he showered, he commented that the shower head was rusty and asked why I didn’t get things fixed. He wasn’t offering to help, just being critical. I didn’t like the nasty tone of his voice. It wasn’t really menacing, but it was impatient and real pushy. I felt too proud to defend myself, so I said nothing, and the night proceeded.

I was quiet as he got his clothes together later. Don’t you think he had a lot of nerve sleeping with me after criticizing the shape of my bathroom fixtures and my shabby little house?

— Insulted and Angry, East Kildonan

Dear Insulted and Angry: This is the problem with going to bed with people too soon. You only had a few dates with this guy, and then had him over for dinner and whatever. Even before you slept with him, he was rude and pushy. At that point you should have suggested a romantic walk in the snow, and when you got back, turned on the top step and said, “And now it’s time for us to part company.” With a guy like this, who sounds like he’s prone to be scary, and with no one else to help, it’s best to outwit him without having to actually throw him out of your house.

It’s odd you seemed to think it was a good idea to carry out the rest of the night — the sex part. That was more important than saying to yourself, “Wait a minute. There’s something wrong with this picture and I should not let this go any further than dinner.” If you had seen more of him before that night, his nasty side would have come out before he got into your house.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My son has a lot of pets and asked me to babysit them while he is away on a trip to the Caribbean. I said no, and now he says he can’t go on holidays because no one else wants to look after a dog that needs walking, three cats, some fish and a bird. I already have a full-time job. He said I could just live there while he is gone.

I can’t stand having my son angry with me, and not talking to me or taking my calls or texts. Should I cave in? Answer quickly please.

— Upset Mother, River Heights

Dear Upset Mother: Your son is counting on his anger to make you cave in. Don’t do it. If your son has enough money to travel, he has to have enough to take care of his menagerie. That means getting a friend to move in and feed them, change the cat litter and walk the dog.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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