End unfulfilling marriage and find a lover

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 19/01/2016 (3546 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m approaching retirement (my wife is already there) and we are surviving in a very platonic, unromantic, day-by-day life. We’ve had an unemotional, sexless marriage for the last 10 years, and I’m getting very tired of being without stimulation. I get the impression she disdains me physically, even though I’m fit and clean. She’s very defensive when I broach the subject. Being retired will probably make it worse. Counselling is out of the picture — she won’t go.

She has always been unromantic, but I had work distractions and coped. What does a person in his mid-60s do?

— Sign Me 65 with a 45-Year-Old Approach to Life! Winnipeg

Dear 45-Year-old Approach to Life: You may have 10 to 20 years left of a warm sexual romance. There are many more single-again women in your age range, and men like you are a hot commodity. Why are you wasting time staying so long after your marriage hit its best-before date? Life is too precious to stay stuck in a bad marriage, especially when the kids, if you have any, are grown and gone? So tell your wife: “Unless we get professional help and re-establish a romantic and sexual relationship, I’m setting myself free.”

If you do end up free, there’s a “Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends” course that runs a few times a year as an offshoot of Adventures of Successful Singles. It’s based on the Bruce Fisher book of the same name. Only one half of a former couple can join it, so you would want to be first (204-981-8643). The first one in 2016 starts tomorrow, Jan. 20, and runs for 10 Wednesdays. That’s too soon for you, but it might help other people who are ready right now. The spring course starts April 21, running Thursdays.

You should also know online personals for people 55 and up are full of fun, loving, sexual, accomplished women with their own jobs and money, along with a number of kooky people and those who are just looking for a sugar daddy. You’re clearly smart enough to sort that out after a few dates.

Final tip: Don’t quit working totally. Look for a part-time job where at least 50 per cent of your co-workers are women. Working helps charge your batteries and maintain confidence.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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