Lazy husband obviously lying

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 11/04/2016 (3806 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a healthy, strong woman married to a wimpy guy. I’m taller and I lift weights. My husband is slim, handsome and is a great talker, but, every time there is work to be done around the house, he brings up his “bad back” or “arthritic knees” and “painful hands.” That means he can’t do dishes, make beds, carry anything, take out the garbage, mow the lawn or shovel snow. What he can do is hoist a beer, smoke dope, read the newspaper and visit his friends at the bar.

We got married in a sexual fever three years ago, and right now we’re not having sex at all as I am so angry with him and doubt we’ll even make it to our fourth anniversary. I know he’s partly faking it. He can manage to play his favourite sports with his friends, like tennis and broomball, not to mention drinking beers at the Legion. When I ask him to do his share of the housework he says, “You’re strong as a horse, and I will injure myself further if I do the things on this list.”

Yesterday he told me he was going to start helping our neighbour build his garage. I don’t know what to do with him. His mother spoiled him.

— Miserably Married to Lazybones, Steinbach

Dear Miserably Married: If he loves you deeply, you have some leverage. Instead of kicking him out the door, haul him to the nearest marriage counsellor. The very act of insisting you go there underlines the fact his marriage to you is on the line. Given his personality, it might be best if your counsellor is a man, as he is used to charming and manipulating women. How else did he lasso you? I’m betting it was his handsome face, not his willingness to help you.

So how handsome does he look now? Are you roaring mad at him, or are you growing totally disinterested? If you don’t even have enough feelings to go for counselling with him, then your next step should be to find the best domestic lawyer you can and an accountant (not one you share), and start making a plan for yourself that does not include Lazybones.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography