Be the main course at dinner for shy guy

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 12/04/2016 (3507 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m dating a sweet but annoying guy I secretly call Periphery Man. We have gone out a half dozen times and we have been necking for the last three or four dates. Nothing has gone on below the neck except he skirts the periphery of my breasts without actually touching them. He traces circles around and around the outside of each breast with loving fingers, but he never gets to the parts that matter. I got so frustrated waiting for his touch that last night I grabbed his hand and put it there. He said, “Thank you. I was hoping you’d do that.” I asked him why he had never done that before, and he said he never wanted to be accused of sexual assault. We had a little laugh about it, but he still didn’t go any further.

We ended up lying on the sofa and then I felt his fingers tracing the periphery of my bottom. My amusement turned to irritation because I don’t want him to wait for me to give permission at every new point. I said, “Well, I guess I better get to bed as it’s an early morning at work.” He left frustrated and I felt the same. I really like Periphery Man, but I’m getting fed up with this stupid game of Red Light, Green Light. How should I handle him without jumping him?

— Left Hanging, Osborne Village

Dear Left Hanging: This is how you get Periphery Man to come across in a fully erotic manner instead of tickling around the edges: Have him over for dinner, light all the candles and play Rod Stewart’s Tonight’s the Night as he walks through the door. Kiss him erotically, and say to him “This is the night we’re going to make love, but first we’re going to have dinner.” You may not make it to the food at that point, but that’s just fine! You’re just taking pressure off by not saying, “Do it now!”

If he drinks, have a bottle of wine ready and two glasses poured. This man is polite and sounds like he is a bit leery because of all the things going on in the news. The full permission he needs has been given at the start. Good luck, and write back and tell us how it goes. We don’t need the finer details, but would like to know if Periphery Man has now become Lover Man.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography