Getting attractive boss agitated only leads to unemployment line

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I ran into an old boyfriend I used to curl on a team with, and we went for drinks. We’ve been almost eight years apart, and I couldn’t remember why we broke up, as we always had such a great time together.

It wasn’t until the second date — this time on a weekend — that it came back to me, with a jolt. Pee-yew! I remembered he doesn’t use deodorant on weekends. Why? He enjoys his own body odour. I recalled that a bit too late, and it was just as awful as ever! I went home early.

Tonight, he called and I refused him another date. I said, “Think back. You remember why we broke up?” Then he said, “Oh yeah, you hated my no-deodorant weekend policy. Well, guess what? Some women don’t mind!” I said I really doubted that, and that ended the conversation. Miss L., wouldn’t any women find stinky underarms offensive?

— Sensitive Nose, Fort Richmond

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I purposely pick fights at work with my female boss because it gets me excited. I never do anything bad enough to get myself fired, but she has a temper on her and I love it when she gets really annoyed. You see her eyes snap and she struts around the office. Everything about that excites me.

My best friend at work asked me why I don't ask to switch departments since we clash so often, and I looked at him blankly. "Are you kidding? Don't you love it when she gets mad?" I asked, and he thought about it and admitted she was really hot-looking when she gets angry. I guess she affects everybody that way. She wears tall boots, black clothes and looks like someone you should be calling Mistress.

I'm the youngest guy on staff and I have a lot of fantasies about her — she's in her 30s with a boyfriend who works out. He's older than her, at least 40. Do you think I have a chance with her someday? Some women like younger men and I've been working out hard at the gym, too.

— Hot For My Boss, Downtown

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