Wife threw wetsuit on idea of kids
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Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 14/06/2016 (3763 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife is a full-fledged scuba diving addict. We got married in our mid-20s, almost 10 years ago, but things changed after a couple of years following a diving holiday. Things have escalated. Now she goes alone, all over the world. She has a regular job, and I’m a professional who earns a lot of money. We have a joint account, and share our money.
Last night I asked her again, if she would like to have kids with me soon. She’s almost 35 (as am I) and she said, “Let me think about it. I still have at least five or six years worth of dives I want to do. Maybe then.” Something went off in my head — bang! — like the biological clock exploding. I went downstairs and poured myself a stiff drink. I realized my wife has no intention of starting a family with me. That is something I really want. We had agreed to having three or four children before she discovered the dive world. If I cut off my money-sharing portion of our bank account, she still makes enough to go on her own dime. And anyway, who wants a child with a woman who would probably prefer to mate with a dolphin?
Yes, I’m damn angry, and it’s the cold bitter kind. My dreams are shattering. Help, please. What should I do?
— Never a Dad, No Picket Fence? Winnipeg
Dear Never a Dad: Welcome this epiphany. This is not the marriage-and-family situation with your wife you dreamed of. Her dreams and directions have changed. You need to talk to her about this extreme divergence. Not having children and a family is simply a deal-breaker for you. If you weren’t married to this woman, what would you do? It’s likely you would end the relationship and look for someone you love who wants a family. What good will it do to stay with her now you know this?
I take it you don’t go diving with her. Do you know who does? Could there be another man in the wings? At least ask her. Suggest emergency counselling, and see where it goes. Both of you need to look at this reality, and make a decision.
Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6
