She had to get a new place for spitting milk in his face

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This article was published 23/10/2016 (3635 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend and I, both 22, were living together until this week. We are not talking to each other right now because we had a fight. The other day, she took a big drink of milk at breakfast and spat it out at me, like a pain-in-the ass child. I wiped the milk off my face and work shirt and looked at her with contempt. I said to her: “Be packed and out of here before I come home from work!”

“Over one glass of milk?” she said and did a fake laugh. She said she wasn’t going anywhere. I pointed my finger at her and said, “You’re on! Move today, or I’ll hire somebody to move you back to your mommy.”

To my surprise, when I got home, she was gone. All of her clothes were gone and out of the closets. As her final move she poured a carton of milk all over the kitchen floor. There was no note. I don’t want her back, but I don’t want her to have the last word either. What can I do? — Need the Last Word, Winnipeg

Dear Need the Last Word: Unless you’re not serious and you want to play games, getting the last word is saying no words at all.

The last word goes to the one who turns silent because they don’t care. At first she will picture the floor with milk all over it and laugh and tell a few friends. Then, when you don’t make the next move, other than changing the locks, she will know she’s lost you for good. When friends ask about her, you just say, “Sorry, I have no words to say about her. Next topic?”

And here’s a tip: don’t live with another woman until you’re a few years older — and so is the woman — and she seems to be the one for all time.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband does everything he can do to avoid sex with me. He has taken shifts opposite of mine and always pleads fatigue when our paths cross. I really want sex on Sundays when we are finally both home together, but he sleeps until noon to avoid me.

That used to bother me, but now it doesn’t. I have a sex buddy who just happens to be wide awake on Sunday mornings with coffee and chocolate croissants, a big smile and the down quilt ready. I only have to go out the back lane as if I’m going to have coffee with a neighbour, walk four blocks down and go in his back gate.

I come home satisfied and happy about 1 p.m. and make lunch for my husband who’s just getting up. Before he even gets a chance to make an excuse for not being available for sex in the afternoon (golf, curling, whatever), I kiss him and head out the door with my bike to go “shopping,” and ride back to my lover’s house for cuddling, a movie and more fun and games. I get home early enough with groceries to cook a nice Sunday dinner, and my husband gets everything he wants to eat.

I have to say I don’t feel guilty as he has neglected me so much, but I’m not in love with my sex buddy either. This works for now. What do you think I should do? — Playing Four Blocks Down, Winnipeg

Dear Playing Four Blocks Down: Your husband is suspiciously content himself. Follow him and you may find he has a sex buddy of his own. Maybe he’s just off sex, or had enough of sex with you. In any case, you have a dishonest marriage going on here — a farce — and are wasting precious time.

How about agreeing to an honest, open marriage, or breaking up and setting each other free to find a new lover who is physically and emotionally loving and enthusiastic? At this moment, you’re just begging to get caught every time you go down that lane, and I’m betting your husband’s not being very careful either, if you dare to check up on him.

Send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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