Non-sexual encounter not worth confessing

Opinion

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This article was published 28/10/2016 (3271 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a man riding a horse in the valley where I live. I was quite taken with him as we rode along together. He was openly flirting with me and I could feel it. I’m often told I’m an attractive woman, and he said so too. He told me he was visiting a friend near where we met up. I knew the friend he mentioned.

He was wearing gloves as it was cool outside. Finally, he asked me if I would like to get off my horse and sit with him by the water. I got a sexual thrill I shouldn’t have and felt I knew what he had in mind. I said, “You’re married, aren’t you?” He said, “Yeah, but not so married I can’t appreciate a beautiful woman.”

I turned my horse and rode off.

Should I tell my husband? He’s a jealous man and will go to the neighbours about this guy. Do I owe it to my husband to tell him every single experience of my life? I haven’t been married that long and don’t know these things.

— Feeling Kinda Guilty, Southern Manitoba

Dear Feeling Kinda Guilty: If you’d gotten off your horse and gone rolling around in the grass down by the river, you’d have something to tell, but you didn’t, so telling your husband would be stirring up trouble for nothing.

Throughout your marriage, lots of men will flirt with you, as you’re an attractive woman, and you might feel tempted. It happens here and there in life, but there’s no need to make a big deal out of it unless the guy’s harassing you. He wasn’t. In this case you called his bluff by asking if he was married and then you took off. So just forget about it, or pull it out of your memory bank when you want a little confidence boost. Being married doesn’t mean you have to confess every single thing that happens to you. It’s OK to have a private interior and to be just a little mysterious, though clearly loyal to your husband.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Sometimes I get so fed up with stupid Winnipeg drivers. When they cut me off, I pound on the steering wheel and yell and swear out the window to teach them a lesson. They’re strangers, so it’s no big deal.

Now I’m in trouble. My wife got a phone call yesterday from an old neighbour who recognized me and my car when I cut her off and yelled a few obscenities out the window. I didn’t see who it was when I was yelling, but that woman deserved it, the stupid old twit. My wife says I have to go and apologize to the old busybody and tell her I was feeling sick that day with a headache or something. But I don’t want to go. Why should I? If she had been driving properly there wouldn’t have been any problem. What should I do? My wife won’t come near me until I apologize and I need sex every day or I get nervous and keyed up. — Frustrated, Windsor Park

Dear Frustrated: You can’t afford to display road rage anymore because many cars carry dash cams that can photograph you and your bad and/or illegal behaviour. You’re lucky your old neighbour phoned you instead of reporting you. So go apologize, then look at help for your problem. You need anger management classes. Call Klinic Community Health for some suggestions.

When you do learn to control your anger, your life will feel better, your wife and neighbours will be happy again and your sex life may be a frequent and beautiful thing. Stupid people in traffic are not the cause of your anger, they just bear the brunt of it.

Send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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