Panties in pocket proof of partner’s hanky panky

Opinion

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This article was published 17/12/2016 (3223 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I found a small red pair of panties in my boyfriend’s back pocket when I was washing his jeans. I am not a size small and I don’t wear panties with a stupid Christmas decoration on them. I asked him where they came from and he stuttered around for a bit. Then the light bulb went on and he said they were his and that he liked to wear them sometimes. That is such a lie.

I told him to put them on to see if they fit. He’s a big guy with legs like tree stumps. Finally he turned red and said, “OK, they’re not mine! I’m, uh, keeping them for a friend who, uh, cheated on his girlfriend, and uh, handed them to me, to throw out.” Another big fat lie! That’s the last time I put up with his cheating. But now what do I do? I still love him. — Hurting Bad, Westwood

Dear Hurting Bad: This isn’t the first time he’s cheated and it won’t be the last. He’s used to getting forgiven after doing his time in the doghouse. Either you make a deal with him that the relationship is open for both of you to see other people and then you also carry through and start dating people, or you dump him on his head. You have no business complaining to your friends and family about this guy if you let him cheat on you and hurt you, and then keep taking him back while you remain faithful.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a guy at a Christmas party when I was way past the .08 limit and so was he. To save money, we called a taxi to share because he lives two blocks from my place. I got out first and he insisted on paying for the entire trip, so I asked him in for a drink and wiggled my eyebrows. One thing led to another — at my instigation — and he stayed and played until morning. We had a great time and got to know each other inside and out. I even made him a big breakfast and he toddled off very happy, about noon. I was falling in love or lust or both, but I have not heard one word from him since. Should I contact him? — Fretting About Him, Wolseley

Dear Fretting About Him: Rather than worry about it, why don’t you call him and ask him out on a real date to a movie or dinner? It’s possible he has felt a bit awkward wondering if you would welcome his call, or if it was just a fun one-night stand for you. Modern guys are just as insecure about these things as women, so contact him and see what he has to say, otherwise you waste time and energy endlessly debating the call and worrying about it. Meanwhile time ticks on past your get-together and it gets more difficult for either of you to text, Facebook — whatever. So just get it done!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I fell in love with an idiot and agreed to marry him at some point. I lost that nebulous feeling over the 2 1/2 years we have been going out, but he has remained enthusiastic. A couple of weeks ago, he said he wanted me to pick out a diamond because he was going to propose in front of my folks at Christmas.

I didn’t say anything. I went crazy for two days and called him back and blurted out, “I don’t want to marry you anymore!” He was speechless, and then said with a voice like ice, “You could have told me that earlier.” I lied and said I didn’t know earlier. The truth is I did know, but I was a chicken and just let it slide. Now it’s like a cold war and he told me to box up all of his stuff and give it to his parents, who never did like me. I don’t want to face his disapproving parents’ faces. They’ll be hating me now because I hurt their precious little boy. What should I do? — Mean Woman, St. Vital

Dear Mean Woman: If it’s a matter of a few boxes, call his parents and tell them you’re bringing their son’s stuff over, as he requested. Then you and two friends take the boxes right to the door and say nicely, “Here are your son’s boxes. I’m really sorry.” Then go back to your vehicle with your escorts on either side. You don’t need to break up with the parents, too — and you’ve already finished it with him.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m shocked. The angry mother in the letter who left two teenagers alone to go on a month-long holiday (So Mad at My Mother) with her boyfriend qualifies, in my books, for Bad Mother of the Year. A weekend might have been OK, but not a month. Her own mother is a great person to move in and help those kids and deserves accolades. The mother needs to grow up and face her responsibilities as a mother. I would have reported her to the authorities! — Carol, Victoria, B.C.

Dear Carol: Grandma is a standup kind of woman, willing to put up with the ranting of her grown daughter when she got home. The mother is lucky grandma took the initiative and moved in. If some bad people at the bar found out there was a party place available they could have come over and wrecked the house. Worse than that, is the danger to the kids who live there if they try to kick the drunken party-crashers out themselves.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
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