Mail mushy card from ex to his new wife

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This article was published 19/12/2016 (3578 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My annual Christmas nightmare has happened again. I got an expensive sparkly Christmas card in the mail from my ex-husband with a mushy weird note and the inscription, “I will always love you.” Yech! Leave me alone!

What can I do about this creep? I divorced him five years ago and he has also remarried. It just galls him he can’t have me anymore. How do I get him stopped? I know he wants me to call him in response, but that thought just revolts me. Help me, please! — Creeped Out by His Card, North Kildonan

Dear Creeped Out by His Card: By all means, shine a light on what he’s up to. Buy a bigger envelope and send the card back to him at work. Write on a slip of paper, “Next year’s card will be mailed to your wife.” It’s highly doubtful you will get another inappropriate card like this. Good luck!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m part of a very complicated family. The family is composed of kids from my husband’s two previous marriages and my one previous marriage along with the baby we just had together. Then there’s cousins, siblings and grandparents of all the kids, the in-laws who are now outlaws and on and on. We still care about most of these people.

We all get along, sort of, except my bitter ex-husband and his wife who won’t come over under any circumstances. Nobody really knows how to handle a big Christmas party that includes everybody, so there are a series of little Christmas parties from awkward to kind of fun, on the 24th and 25th with different groups.

My new husband’s two ex-wives are both remarried and happier than they were with him: he’s a fun guy, but a bit of drinker, which doesn’t bother me. So anyway, I’m thinking these wives and husbands might come over with the kids for a big party with Santa (my husband’s best buddy). My husband is a big party guy, but I love him that way.

I just find nine Christmas family events for 2016 too much, especially with the baby, but we still want to see everybody. Got any suggestions for simplifying? — Middle of the Christmas Craziness, Charleswood

Dear Middle of the Christmas Craziness: Next year, pick a day before Christmas and host a combined party with gifts, Santa and games, so there’s a focus and fun for all ages. Set up a karaoke room and a selfie corner with crazy hats — you get the idea. You don’t have to be too rigid on the one-party thing. You can also work out one or two smaller get-togethers with people you hold dear, who can’t hack the big combined Christmas party.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife is a fussy eater and doesn’t care who knows it. This year we are invited to my new boss’s house for a holiday party and my wife said it was up to me to tell the hostess she won’t eat meat, drink milk or have gluten, but I didn’t have the guts to tell them. Now how do I get out of this problem? I need to go to this party and have things go smoothly to help my situation at work. What do you suggest? — Worried Husband, Tuxedo

Dear Worried Husband: Confess to your wife, and then you and she can arrive with two dishes to add to the food mix and be shared. Act as if you had no idea that was not the style of party — just pop them on the table. Then no one has to worry about what your wife can eat or not eat, and the party can go on without an awkward food discussion. Ditto for drinks. Just open a drink for her to start and put the bottle on the bar. The less said, the better, for your wife and the hostess. It’s really the visiting and celebrating that counts.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Our dog is part of our family and we don’t want to leave him home alone on Christmas day. We have been invited to a holiday dinner where there will be cats. Our dog doesn’t mind cats, but my relatives don’t believe that and told us there are no pets allowed. What do you think? — Guilty Dog Parents, St. Vital

Dear Guilty Dog Parents: Just the humans were invited, so respect that. Go to the party and have a good time, but don’t stay too late. Give Fido a good meal plus a juicy bone before you go. Take him for a walk and leave the TV set on for company, and he’ll sleep most of the time. Stay for a number of hours after dinner and go home without giving an excuse about the dog. Nobody really wants to hear excuses about why you are leaving. They prefer good wishes, thanks, praise for the dinner and hugs goodbye.

And if you’ll still have the guilts, hire a dog sitter for a silly price.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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