No one is obliged to have sex at end of date

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 21/12/2016 (3221 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I took a woman out for dinner at The Forks and it went great: good conversation, sparkling white lights and a big moon outside. When we left, she held my hand and I kissed her while we looked at the river. She glommed onto my face like she was inhaling her next breath out of my lungs and start running her hands up and down the front of my body. I felt like running away! I managed to pull her off and told her there was no rush: there was more where that came from. She said “Yes I know, but it’s been so long since I had sex.”

Suddenly I stopped feeling like I was a human being and felt like a human vibrator. I guess it wasn’t nice of me, but I just wanted to get away from her. I saw a cab nearby, called it over, opened the door and handed my date $25. In the light of day, I wonder if that wasn’t a mean thing to do to a woman, but she really revolted me. Did I owe it to her as a gentleman to drive her home and get groped by her in the car?

— New At This, St. Boniface

Dear New at This: You owed it to your date to see that she got home safely, not necessarily that you gave her the ride home yourself. Guys have a right to trust their gut instincts on a date, and yours were telling you to get away from this sexual desperado. Guys are no more obligated to supply sex at the end of dates than women are. You could have used your words to tell her to keep her hands off you, but guys aren’t used to using those phrases.

Dear Readers: There was a lot of helpful advice sent in for Got the Creeps, the woman who walks down the back lane home from the bus at night because it’s the quickest way. Here are a few of the best safety tips sent in for her:

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is some additional help for Got the Creeps. If a woman is riding a bus late in the evening and she is alone, she can request a stop between bus stops at her specific location closest to her destination. The request must be made in advance and a woman should sit closer to the front of the bus to avoid any conflict with anybody that might cause her problems.

— Life in Transit, Winnipeg

Dear Life in Transit: I’m guessing you may be a bus driver and have encountered a number of these situations. Thanks so much for the information.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is for Got the Creeps, West End. Taking the bus at night in an area prone to gangs and violence can be rattling. As a person who’s always taken the bus and lived in Point Douglas, the West End and North End, here are some helpful suggestions: Before you leave work, put your laptop and purse in your backpack — instead of carrying them for others to see, invest in a sturdy backpack, nothing too flashy, or expensive looking.

Looking confident is also a good idea. Someone who might follow you will watch mannerisms, such as looking around constantly or looking afraid. Don’t make eye contact with other passengers or people on the street. It’s always a good idea to have your cellphone in your pocket, so if something happens, you can call for help.

— M.A., Winnipeg

Dear M.A.: These are great tips. Thank you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Tell Got the Creeps she’s crazy to go down the back lane alone at night! Tell her to find another route. One rape can wreck your life.

— Scared For Good Reason, East Kildonan

Dear Scared For Good Reason: It’s better to carpool from work or school if you can, but some people can’t afford it or work different hours, so in those cases it’s better to live in a tiny place in a safe neighbourhood with a bus stop close by than a bigger place in an unsafe neighborhood where you’re walking in fear.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
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