‘Soldier of love’ has winning moves

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This article was published 30/05/2018 (2696 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met an ex-military guy who calls himself ‘the soldier of love.’ He’s joking but I have never met a guy who fought so hard to win a woman. At first I had no interest in him, but then he fought so hard to get my attention — danced me all over the floor, bought me drinks, made me laugh, made up a song with my name in it. He started looking much cuter.

Instead of pushing me to go home with him, he made a date with me for dinner and then borrowed an umbrella from someone in the club and walked me out to my cab when it wasn’t even raining, kissed me privately under the umbrella and put $20 in the driver’s hand for the trip home. Where do we go from here? I don’t know how to behave.

— Not Used to Formal Treatment, Tuxedo

Dear Not Used To It: Relax and follow his lead, unless you don’t like where it’s going. He obviously knows how to interest you, so why not let him continue? It could be a practised program of moves, but it could also be fun. So, dress up, and always bring your own money tucked away. He’ll want to pay, but that doesn’t mean you owe him anything sexually, no matter what dinner costs. If you aren’t enjoying the treatment and feel he’s getting too pushy, tell him you’re finding him too “directive.” If he can’t let up, politely bail at the end of the evening’s entertainment.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m the captain of a baseball team and one of the players cornered me and said a woman on the team was too harsh in her criticisms of others on the team if they made a mistake — fumbled balls, for instance.

This player said he would not continue on the team if she didn’t change her way of speaking because he was on the team to enjoy his experience and have fun. He wanted the harsh person to change or get kicked off. What should I say?

— New Disciplinarian, Winnipeg

Dear New: Privately speak to the woman who’s being harsh and critical of her own teammates, reminding her it’s a fun team, and ask her to be nicer. She may react positively and tone down her negativity or she may get huffy and walk. Either way, that works out for the player who approached you about her behaviour and for you as the captain. Tell him quietly that you and she had a talk with her and hopefully things will get better.

Dear Miss Lonleyhearts: I slept with my new man for the first time and was kind of shocked to discover a tattoo on the back of his bare bottom with a girl’s name inside a heart. He laughed and said he got that when he was very young, and can’t see it so hasn’t had it removed.

It bugged me more than it should. I wasn’t jealous of his teenage girlfriend but it just seemed kind of low-class to be looking at it on his body. I just feel uncomfortable. Am I being too sensitive?

— Can’t Stand Teen Tattoo, Elmwood

Dear Teen Tatt: What if you had a tattoo with the name of your high school honey in a heart on your derriere? How would you feel if a grown-up new guy criticized you and backed off because of that? No doubt you’d think he was being far too sensitive and possessive.

You barely know this man, and you’re already getting after him about a tattoo from his teenage years. Ease up.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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